Despite paying for a 5-star hotel, Quinn slept on a beach chair. As Nicole pointed out, “You can't just make him sleep on the beach where he can be washed away with the tides.”
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#2. A Vacation Is Not Always A Vacation For Moms
Nicole: “I'm gonna start my Zoom. And you guys, if you're gonna stay in here, you have to be totally silent. OK?”
Olivia: “Mom, you look deranged.”
Nicole: “It's alright. I have a filter for that.”
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#3. Even Bad Moms Get Loved By Their Kids
It’s true. Even though Tanya’s mother was...not great, she lugged her ashes all the way to Hawaii. “When I saw my mother’s ashes hit the water, it just reminded me of sprinkling fish food in an aquarium.”
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#4. Your Crisis Isn’t A Bonding Moment
“We wanna be, like, superheroes and respectable fathers...but in fact, we're just monkeys...living in our own little monkey pods, driven by base instincts to create these hierarchies and hump each other.” Nicely put, Mark.
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#5. Letting Your Kid Bring A Friend Is Always A Risk
Mark: “What does Paula know about me?”
Paula: “Your balls are swollen.”
Mark: “They've deflated. See? It goes both ways.”
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#6. Sometimes Teens Can’t Go A Day Without A Phone
Quinn: “I'm gonna need somebody's phone today. I can't go another day without a phone.”
Nicole: “Honey, I'd love to help, but I need to have my phone. I'm getting calls from work.”
Quinn: “OK, but you guys are gonna regret this.”
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#7. A Mother’s Love Bonds Us All
Belinda is too good at comforting high needs guest Tanya, even reminding her that “nobody loves you like your mother” when they both discover they lost moms. Now she’s stuck with a BFF in a caftan for the whole week.
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#8. You Can Only Push Mom So Far
Nicole finally couldn’t take any more sass from Olivia or blank stares from Quinn and just had a meltdown on the dock, yelling, “Why am I always the f**king punching bag?”
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#9. But You Should Know When Your Advice Is Not Welcome
Rachel: “I really want to get a job.”
Kitty: “No, why would you want to do that?”
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#10. When In Doubt, Treat Everyone Like Toddlers
As Armond put it, “Remind these people of all the fabulous things they already possess... You have to treat these people like sensitive children... They just need to feel seen.”
