Avoiding The “Wine Mom” Trap: 5 Drinking Habits To Be Aware Of & How You Can Keep Them In Check

After a long day of being a mom, it’s totally normal to want to kick back, relax, and enjoy a glass of wine. A day of diaper-changing, feeding one (or multiple) mouths, and cleaning up the latest mess (just to make room for the next one, of course) could drive anyone to seek relief from a 750ml bottle. If you’ve found yourself indulging in an extra glass of wine more often than not, you’re not alone: According to a 2020 report in the journal JAMA Network Open, frequency of alcohol consumption increased by 14% compared to 2019. The same study showed a 41% increase in heavy drinking for women over 30.

Since women (and moms, especially!) typically have more responsibilities at home — whether that’s balancing work, child care, cooking, or just everyday chores like laundry — it’s not surprising that women have been hitting the bottle a little harder lately. But if your innocent nightcap has gradually morphed into a production that spills over into the next day and affects your mood or behavior, you may be wondering if you should reevaluate your relationship with alcohol.

That’s totally normal, too.

No matter how many drinks you have per week, taking a step back to reflect on your alcohol consumption can be enlightening, informative and empowering. Fortunately, programs like vorvida can help you change your drinking habits based on your own behaviors.

To help moms keep their relationship with alcohol healthy, Romper has partnered with vorvida, a web-based software program that uses proven tools and techniques, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to help manage drinking without the help of a therapist or doctor. Ahead, five common drinking traps to be aware of, and how you can keep them in check.

1. You Drink More When You’re Stressed

“A perfect storm of stressors coming together” is partly responsible for the increased alcohol consumption among women during the pandemic, says Dr. Indra Cidambi, a board-certified psychologist in Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine (ABAM). “Isolation, dislocation, boredom, increased anxiety about health and finances all have acted as triggers, causing individuals to abuse substances to cope,” she explains.

Turning to alcohol when you’re stressed may feel good in the moment, but it could also be a sign of unhealthy behavior — especially if you’re failing to seek other coping skills and protective factors. Using a program like vorvida can help you recognize habits — like drinking to relieve stress — and break negative thought patterns and responses to stress so you can change your behavior around alcohol. By answering a series of questions about your recent consumption, vorvida can help identify patterns that may be affecting you in ways you don’t yet fully understand.

2. Your Nightcap Spills Into Your Next Morning

Feeling the effects of your evening pinot noir the next morning may not only point to harmful drinking habits, but it can also mess with your entire day. Experiencing headaches, nausea, or stomach distress the next morning are all signs that you may be indulging a bit too much, says Dr. Ella McAllister, a licensed clinical alcohol/drug counselor.

If your nightly happy hour is pouring over into the next day, using a program like vorvida may be able to help. Vorvida utilizes principles from cognitive behavioral therapy to tackle problematic behaviors with drinking.

“CBT can be instrumental in decreasing alcohol consumption because it can restructure or reframe how someone looks at a particular stressor or triggers, and the lens for which they are viewing the triggers,” McAllister says. “Shifting the narrative we tell ourselves and improving our ability to take perspective can have a positive impact by decreasing emotional distress, and improving frustration tolerance.”

3. You Can’t Stop At Just One

Being unable to quit drinking after one drink is another sign that your relationship with alcohol may need reevaluating.

“The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines heavy drinking for women as consuming more than three drinks on any day, and consuming more than 7 drinks per week,” says Cidambi. These guidelines can help you self-evaluate.”

Forty-two percent of people with problematic or harmful drinking patterns cited “not being ready to stop drinking” as a treatment barrier. Admitting you rely on alcohol more than you’d like can be hard, but vorvida makes it possible to take that first step without judgment, from the comfort of your own home.

4. Your Friends and Family Are Starting to Notice

If you’ve started taking note of specific behaviors regarding alcohol, it’s likely that your loved ones have also noticed.

“If you’re curious about your relationship with alcohol, using your family and friends as a soundboard for feedback can help you discover what emotional drivers and thoughts are contributing to alcohol use,” says McAllister. She also suggests keeping a journal to track how you feel before, during, and after consuming alcohol.

Like a good friend, vorvida can hold you accountable when it comes to making and keeping your own goals surrounding cutting back on alcohol. The program’s four modules include established, evidence-based techniques like motivational interviewing, goal-setting, symptom monitoring and even homework exercises, so you can stay on track, and observe your progress.

5. Your Anxiety Has Increased

Alcohol can mess with serotonin levels and other neurotransmitter levels in your brain, so a spike in anxiety may be a signal from your body to get control of your drinking habits. Although you may have initially sought a glass of wine to curb anxiousness or nervousness, alcohol may actually exacerbate anxiety. Using vorvida can help identify extreme or even subtle changes in your mood, and then customizes its interventional content to your unique needs and characteristics.

One study found that using vorvida for six months reduced individuals daily alcohol consumption, and helped promote low-risk drinking behaviors. Of course, it’s also important to realize when you need professional help.

“I would say it is time to seek professional help if you're unable to stick to rules and/or limits you've set for yourself, or if alcohol consumption continues to progress despite self-help intervention,” says McAllister. “It is also time to seek treatment if alcohol use is having a negative impact on relationships, your physical and mental health, and overall quality of life.”

To sign up for vorvida or learn more, visit us.vorvida.com.

Vorvida® is not a healthcare provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need medical assistance, please contact a healthcare provider directly.