Holidays
80 Christmas Dad Jokes That Are Sure To Sleigh
Dad will be oh so punny when he tells these groan-worthy gags.
Dad jokes get a bad rap. Sure, they’re silly, completely corny and predictable, but they’re still sweet. They’re told with the best of intentions (i.e. to make you laugh), and while they might elicit a groan instead, they’re innocent at best. After all, have you ever heard of a mean dad joke? Probably not. And with the holidays right around the corner, you can set up your partner with these Christmas dad jokes that just might make you crack a smile.
While it’s often fathers who get stuck with the dad joke label, really anyone can tell one. Younger kids in particular are notorious for telling totally obvious jokes, but at least with your child, you feel compelled to laugh at the gag. But what exactly is a dad joke? Well, a dad joke is usually short, consisting of either a question and answer, (i.e. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims”), with the answer being the punchline. Sometimes, the dad joke is a one-liner that’s meant to be a fun pun, like, “I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.”
So if your father is feeling festive, give him the floor by letting him tell all the Christmas dad jokes about reindeers, elves, Santa, and more. And try to laugh at some of them. Consider it his present for the holidays.
1What did Santa say after returning to the North Pole?
Answer: There’s snow place like home.
2How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Answer: It was on the house.
3What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
Answer: Ice krispie treats.
4Why is a broken drum the best Christmas present?
Answer: Ya can’t beat it.
5What do you call Santa if he’s broke?
Answer: Saint Nickel-less.
6How do the elves respond when Santa takes attendance?
Answer: Present
7What’s Santa’s favorite candy?
Answer: Jolly Ranchers.
8What happened to the person who stole the advent calendar?
Answer: They got 25 days!
9What do eldery elves use to walk around?
Answer: Candy canes.
10Why was the candy cane so expensive?
Answer: It was in mint condition.
11What did the sheep say at Christmas?
Answer: Fleece Navidad.
12What do you say if someone asks if you can name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Answer: Say no, they already have names!
13What do you call a kitty dressed as Santa?
Answer: Santa Claws!
14Why does Santa use Spotify instead of Apple Music?
Answer: Because he loves Spotify Wrapped.
15What do snowmen call their offspring?
Answer: Chill-dren.
16Where does Santa store his suit?
Answer: In his Claus-et.
17What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
Answer: This one’s gonna sleigh you!
18Did you hear about the angry snowman?
Answer: It had a meltdown.
19Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
Answer: He was searching for some holiday spirit.
20What do you tell an anxious snowman?
Answer: You need to chill out.
21Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
Answer: Star-bucks.
22Why do reindeer wear bells?
Answer: Their horns don’t work.
23Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?
Answer: Because he had low elf-esteem.
24What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
Answer: I’m feelin’ pine.
25What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
Answer: Wrap.
26How do you wish a dog Merry Christmas?
Answer: Feliz Navi-dog.
27Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
Answer: Because it soots him.
28Why does Santa use GPS?
Answer: He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.
29What do you call a snowman that can walk?
Answer: Snow-mobile.
30What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole?
Answer: Iceberg lettuce.
31What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
32What did one angel say to the other?
Answer: Halo there!
33What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
Answer: The Christmas alphabet has No-el.
34Why is is always so cold during Christmas?
Answer: Because it is Decembrrrrrrrr.
35What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day?
Answer: The letter Y.
36What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Answer: Rude-olph.
37What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas?
Answer: Seasonings greetings!
38Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
Answer: They always drop their needles.
39Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?
Answer: He was elf-taught.
40Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Answer: Elf-is Presley.
41What did one snowman say to the other?
Answer: You’re cool.
42What is Santa’s nationality?
Answer: He’s North Pole-ish.
43What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Answer: Is it going to rain, dear?
44What does Santa eat for breakfast?
Answer: Mistle-toast.
45What do elves post on Instagram?
Answer: Elf-ies.
46What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?
Answer: A Mistle-toad.
47What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs?
Answer: A snowball.
48Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?
Answer: He has private elf care.
49What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down?
Answer: He got it mistle-towed.
50How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
Answer: He refers to his calen-deer.
51What does Santa eat for breakfast?
Answer: Frosted Flakes.
52What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
Answer: A cari-boo.
53What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Answer: Nice gnawing you!
54What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Answer: Santa Pause.
55What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Answer: Tinsil-itis!
56What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
Answer: He gives them the sack!
57What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
Answer: A Holly Davidson.
58What is an elf’s favorite sport?
Answer: North-pole vaulting.
59How can you tell that Santa is real?
Answer: You can always sense his presents.
60Where do reindeer go if they lose a tail?
Answer: The retail store.
61Who says Oh Oh Oh?
Answer: Santa walking backward.
62What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Answer: Santa Clues.
63Why does Santa have three gardens?
Answer: So he can ho ho ho.
64What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
Answer: An abdominal snowman.
65What did one snowman say to the other?
Answer: Do you smell carrots?
66What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Answer: Fleece Navidad.
67What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Answer: Hornaments.
68What does a gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm?
Answer: A cookie sheet.
69What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Answer: Silent Night.
70Who’s Santa’s favorite female pop star?
Answer: Beyon-sleigh.
71What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in the chimney?
Answer: Claustrophobia
72How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
Answer: He keeps a log.
73What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Answer: Saint Nickel-less.
74Where does Santa stay when he’s on a vacation?
Answer: At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
75Where do Santa and all his helpers keep their money safely?
Answer: At the snowbank.
76Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
Answer: Santa Jaws.
77What do you call the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents?
Answer: A Christ-MESS.
78What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Answer: A Krisp Kringle.
79Where is Santa's favorite place to deliver presents?
Answer: It's Idaho-ho-ho.
80What do the little helpers of Santa learn when they first go to school?
Answer: They learn the elf-abets.
At the end of the day, dad jokes are a way for Pops to connect with their pack. So even if they’re obvious (or welp, annoying), just know that all they want to do is make you laugh with their dad jokes. So give them a chance, and you never know, you just might be able to disguise your disgust with a slight smile and even a laugh, because sometimes a Christmas dad joke can give you the holly jolly feels.
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