Holidays
33 Christmas Vacation Quotes You Can Totally Relate To
“Hallelujah! Holy s**t! Where’s the Tylenol?”
Christmas Vacation is hands down one of the ultimate cult favorite holiday movies. There’s just something so relatable in Clark Griswold’s obsession with hosting the perfect Christmas. Who hasn’t wanted to wow the neighbors with elaborate light displays? Or hauled the kids miles into the wilderness to cut down the ultimate tree. Then there are the supporting players, the aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents who descend on the Griswold home to celebrate the season. But what makes this movie endure 32 years after its premiere are the quotes. There are so many great lines in this film.
Sure, half of them aren’t appropriate to repeat at the Thanksgiving table. But around adults, well, feel free to let fly and you’ll discover a holiday shorthand people have been using since 1989. Cousin Eddie’s quotes alone have become such a part of pop culture they transcend explanation. Just look at someone and say “That there’s an RV” and they’ll know exactly what you’re talking about.
Of course, buried deep within this comedy is a sweet sentiment all about what the holidays are all about: family. Even when they drive us completely up the way, spending time with loved ones is the reason for the season.
1“We're kicking off our fun old-fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel-drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” — Clark Griswold
2“The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath.” — Clark Griswold
3“Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.” — Clark Griswold
4“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.” —Clark Griswold
5“[Clark is about to cut the rope holding the branches of his huge Christmas tree] I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree. [He cuts the rope, and the branches fly out, breaking windows and surrounding Clark] Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.” —Clark Griswold
6"Clark ... Audrey's frozen from the waist down." — Ellen Griswold
7"I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!" — Ellen Griswold
8"Our Father, who aren’t in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. And forgive my husband, he knows not what he does." — Ellen Griswold
9"Well, I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery." — Ellen Griswold
10"Yep, that there is an RV. I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It's a good-looking vehicle, ain't it?" — Ellen Griswold
11"Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year." — Cousin Eddie
12"Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils." — Cousin Eddie
13"Better take a rain check on that, Art — he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet." — Cousin Eddie
14"She falls down a well, her eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back. I don’t know.” — Cousin Eddie
15"I don’t know if I should go sailin’ down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.” — Cousin Eddie
16"Save the neck for me, Clark." — Cousin Eddie
17“And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?” — Margo
18“I don’t know, Margo.” — Todd
19Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santa Claus? — Ruby Sue
20“Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santa Claus?” — Ruby Sue
21“Hey Gris, if you're not doing anything constructive, run into the living room and get my stogies.” — Uncle Lewis
22“We’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we Dad?” — Audrey Griswold
23“If you need any help, just give me a holler, I’ll be upstairs — asleep.” —Grandpa Clark
24“Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” —Clark Griswold
25“That’s a honey of a tree, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie
26“Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the wild turkey.” — Cousin Eddie
27“I love it here. You don’t got to put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place.” — Ruby Sue
28“Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany
29“When did you move to Florida?” — Aunt Bethany
30“Mom? This box is meowing.” — Rusty Griswold
31“Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!” — Aunt Bethany
32“It’s a one-year membership in the jelly-of-the-month club.” — Clark Griswold
33“Hallelujah! Holy s**t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold
Cue the ol’ reel-to-reel projector and settle into a rewatching of arguably the holidays’ best Christmas movie. Then repeat all of these Christmas Vacation quotes for your fam.
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