This Dad On TikTok Says He Doesn’t “Help” His Wife & I Know You’re Heated, But Wait

Dad of four J.R. Minton has gone viral on TikTok for a video he recently made about how he doesn’t “help” his wife, Brittany. The UPS driver from Texas took to the social media platform to explain that he does not help out with household chores, taking care of the kids, or anything — and the video has millions of people tuning in to see exactly where he’s going with this line of reasoning.

“I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” Minton said at the outset of his viral TikTok video. It was enough of an admission to get many people feeling seriously heated, but he went on to explain himself.

“Because I do what I’m supposed to do as a father and a husband,” he continued. “I cook, I clean, I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can’t ‘help’ my wife do those things, because they are my job, too.”

Yes, that took one heck of a turn. So much so that one person wrote in the comment section, “**Deletes paragraph,” presumably because they were preparing a rant about the first part of the video. Another social media simply said, “I was so ready to fight.” No need. Because this dad knows exactly what he’s doing. Minton ended the video by saying, “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*ck up and be a man.”

After his video was viewed more than 6 million times and many people praised his views, Minton shared a follow-up on TikTok on Friday. “I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone,” he wrote. “However, I’d like to take a second to say: I am not special. I am no ‘unicorn.’ I am normal.”

“Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary,” he continued. “Every father and husband we know (that seems to come up short) is fully-capable — yet unwilling.” He went on to add that there was one difference between dads who do their part and dads who don’t: “Effort.”

In an interview with BuzzFeed, Minton said he felt compelled to make the video because his wife Brittany was constantly being belittled for her role as a stay-at-home mom. “I may provide money from my work, but she affords me the ability to work,” Minton explained. “Having a SAHM is a privilege for me and the kids, not Brittany. I made the video to switch the narrative. Brittany is my partner, not my employee. I have just as much responsibility to our house and children.”

He is not wrong when he says that being a stay-at-home mom is not really a privilege for his wife. A recent study found that stay-at-home moms had fewer friends than those who worked, and it’s certainly no secret that it is a demanding, isolating, full-time job that is often quite thankless. So let’s all change the narrative around partners “helping” moms. Because raising our kids is all of our job.