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50 Silly Father’s Day Riddles
You’re speaking his love language.
Merriam Webster officially added the term “dad joke” in its 2019 edition: a dad joke is both “wholesome” and “endearingly corny or unfunny.” But Father’s Day riddles take the dad joke to a new level — these are dad-themed dad jokes. Such as: When does a regular joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. (Groan.) Once you’ve given your dad a thoughtful Father’s Day card, and present him with a gift (maybe a funny Father’s Day gift at that), you could give him the greatest gift of all: a non-stop parade of Father’s Day riddles and jokes.
These Father’s Day riddles hit a lot of the favorite dad themes: there’s one about golf, two about being bald, and a few that take a little math (but not too much if that’s not your dad’s thing). In every joke, a dad is either a character or the answer. And yet even knowing that, some of these are a little tricky — or maybe they won’t be if your brain works like a dad’s. The only way to find out is whether he can knock these out of the park (or if he does the extra dad-ish thing of making up his own punchline and insisting it’s better.) Just be forewarned — you may be hearing these dad riddles all year long.
1Almost everyone needs it, asks for it, and gives it, but almost nobody takes it. What is it?
Advice.
2What’s the best way for your dad to watch a fishing show?
Live stream.
3What’s the difference between a well-dressed dad on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed dad on a bicycle?
Attire.
4What is a dad’s favorite seasoning?
Salt and pepper because it matches his hair.
5What did the baby computer call its dad?
Data.
6Why did dad wear two pairs of pants while golfing?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
7Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get a quarter back.
8What did the pirate dad say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey (I’m eighty).
9You’re on a road trip with your dad. You fall asleep in the car, then wake up and ask where you are. What’s your dad going to say?
In the car.
10What do you call a dad who is ice skating and falls through the ice?
A pop-sicle.
11Two fathers and two sons go fishing together in the same boat. They all catch a fish but the total catch for the day is three fish. How is this possible?
There are three men: A grandfather, a father (the grandfather’s son) and the father’s son.
12What did the dad say when he wanted to threaten the calendar?
Your days are numbered.
13Why did the dad bring an extra pair of socks to the golf course?
In case he got a hole in one.
14What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s pop-corn?
15Why didn’t the dad trust the stairs?
He said they were always up to something.
16Why didn’t your dad like your joke about boxing?
He missed the punch-line.
17A dad was outside without in the rain without a hat or umbrella but didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
He was bald.
18A father shaves every day, but his beard stays the same. What is his job?
He’s a barber.
19David’s dad has three sons. The first two are Snap, Crackle. what’s the name of his third son?
David.
20What did the strawberry dad say to his daughter?
You’re berry pretty.
21When is your uncle’s brother not your uncle?
When he’s your dad.
22A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son. Who am I?
A daughter.
23Who’s bigger — Dad Bigger, Mom Bigger, or their baby?
The baby — because he’s a “little bigger.”
24Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?
Your father.
25John has 10 siblings: 4 boys, 6 girls, and he has a mother and father. How many people are in the family?
13 people are in the family: John + his 10 siblings + his mom and dad.
26What did the daddy volcano say to the baby volcano?
I lava you.
27What did the dad tomato say to his tomato son when they were running late?
Please ketchup.
28A man is looking at a photograph. When asked whose picture it is, he says, “Brothers and sisters I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s son.” Who is in the photograph?
His son.
29Pam went out with her mom and dad. When it started raining, only 2 of them got their hair wet. Why?
Her dad was bald.
30What do dads like to eat for breakfast on father’s day?
Pop tarts.
31What did the dad say when his kid said “I’m hungry?”
Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
32What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for school?
Bison.
33What did the dad spider say to his teenage son?
You’re spending too much time on the web.
34What do you call making a dad joke when you’re not a dad?
A faux-pa.
35What do you call an ape who is just like his father?
A chimp off the old block.
36What kind of music did the kids play for their dad on Father’s Day?
Pop music.
37What did the banana give their dad for Father’s Day?
Slippers.
38Why was the father so spooky on Father’s Day?
He was a daddy long legs.
39What’s the easiest kind of flower to find for dad on Father’s Day?
Daddylions.
40Why did the dad meet his daughter’s boyfriend at the door with charcoal?
So he could grill them about their date.
41What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?
Luke, I yam your Father.
42Why did the kids give beans to their dad for Father’s Day?
He was chili.
43Why was the strawberry later for Father’s Day?
He got caught in a jam.
44How do you know when dinner’s ready?
When your dad shuts off the smoke alarm.
45What did the iceberg say to its dad on Father’s Day?
Dad, you are the coolest.
46How did the piglet wake his papa up on Father’s Day?
With hogs and kisses.
47What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day?
A bear hug.
48How did the Panda open his Father’s Day card?
With his bear hands.
49When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
50What do dads call a broken can opener?
A can’t opener.
Whether your dad gets all of these or just wants you to tell him the punchline, he’s sure to appreciate the effort you put in to finding these dad-themed jokes on Father’s Day. (No need to tell him they were all in one place.)
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