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You Need These 30 Hilarious Instagram Captions For All Your Wildest Weekends
Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer.
In these restless and chaotic times, there's at least one thing just about everyone can agree on, regardless of age, race, political leanings, religion, or Netflix streaming preference: We all love weekends. Those 48 hours of freedom are to be cherished, savored and — for many of us — commemorated on social media with a weekend-themed Instagram caption. Because why shouldn't the world know how psyched you are about the best part of the week?
Whether your weekend plans consist of grabbing a drink with the girls, hitting the beach with the kids, catching up on housework and food shopping, or sneaking some extra sleep in the morning, there are bound to be silly Saturday Instagram captions to match your mood. There are also plenty of Sunday-evening witticisms that capture the where did the time go? regret we always feel when Monday looms ahead. (Being able to laugh about it helps. A little.)
So get out your cell and snap a selfie at the shore, the pub, the brunch spot, the wedding, the mall, or in bed, and add one of these fun weekend captions for Instagram to preserve those precious moments. You'll find it helps to look back at them during the endless Monday-through-Friday grind.
1Fri-nally!
This sums up your feelings of relief in one short and snappy pun.
2My goal this weekend is to move just enough so that nobody thinks I'm dead.
This one's for all of you who are so wiped out from the week that your most strenuous exercise will be opening your eyes.
3Today is Saturday, which means that I will be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking.
Errands? Housework? Answering texts? Later. Saturdays were made for procrastinating.
4Saturday is for shopping. (Online, and in bed.)
Aren't we lucky to live in an age where we can order up just about anything without having to go near a brick-and-mortar store? Especially on the weekend.
5Me: “Yo, weekend! Let's go out!” Bank account: “Sure thing. You can afford ‘Couch, party of one.’”
For those between-payday weekends when you can either have a great time, or you can eat. Not both.
6The only thing getting "lit" this weekend are my scented candles.
Not everyone goes wild on the weekend. Post this along with a selfie of you relaxing with said candle by your side.
7It's Friday — time to go make stories for Monday.
Because it's always so depressing to answer the inevitable "What did you do this weekend?" question with "Not much."
8Weekends are like rainbows. They look great from a distance, but when you get close, they start to disappear.
If only both of them could last forever... but then, if they did, neither rainbows nor weekends would be special, would they?
9"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." — Bill Watterson
This comes from Watterson's brilliant Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, and little Calvin was always wise beyond his years.
10Forecast for this weekend: Crafting with a chance of chocolate.
The very caption for all the knitters, jewelry-makers, and scrapbookers out there. And that chance of chocolate? Make it 99%.
11I haven't been this excited about Friday since last Friday.
And if you recall, we were pretty darn stoked about last Friday, too.
12It's Saturday, which means that the only decision you should be making is whether to have a glass or a bottle of wine.
Tough choice, I know.
13It's the weekend. This is as dressed as I get!
Unless you're attending a wedding or going out to dinner, your slouchy clothes or pajamas will do just fine, thanks.
14I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Wouldn't that be awesome? But what would we call it? Would we stick with the planetary theme? Let's see... Jupiterday, Venusday, Neptuneday, Uranus... um, never mind.
15Ah, Sunday, the day of rest. Rest of the laundry, rest of the house, and rest of all the other stuff I put off on Saturday!
Anyone besides me ever wake up on Sunday morning thinking, "Aaagh! Look at all the stuff I have to do!"
16Sundays should come with a pause button.
If we can DVR Stranger Things for a later viewing and put Peppa Pig on hold so the kids can use the bathroom, why shouldn't we be able to freeze a few hours of weekend time? Someone get on this, please.
17I swear it was Friday like five minutes ago.
This is the caption to use when you're convinced that time actually accelerates in the 48 hours between Friday night and Sunday night. Didn't Einstein write something about that?
18It's not Sunday unless you waste the entire day and then feel really depressed around 8:00 PM.
The trouble with spending the day of rest actually resting is that it leads to blaming yourself for being unproductive. But this caption at least lets you laugh about it.
19Can we start the weekend over again? I wasn't ready.
Adult life should be able to follow a 7-year-old's rules. It's Sunday? Do-over! Do-over!
20Three-day weekends are a great opportunity to cancel even more plans than usual.
The caption for those of us who get psyched about going out and doing things... in theory.
21A round of applause for everyone who actually checked something off of their to-do list this weekend!
Even if you only wrote something down on your to-do list that you had already completed so you could get the satisfaction of checking it off. We’ve all been there.
22Yes, I’m free Friday night! Do you want to watch TV and fall asleep on the couch at my house or yours?
True friendship is being on the same page about what girls night really entails.
23Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer.
If only we lived in that kind of perfect world. Sigh.
24Friday? Oh, I thought it was spelled Fry-day!
If you’re celebrating the end of the work week with a McDonald’s Happy Meal, that deserves to be documented. Bonus points for relatability if you’re munching down on your fries while sitting in your car in the McDonald’s parking lot.
25May your weekend be filled with love, laughter, and the frozen food aisle’s best!
Because it’s actually a law that no one should have to cook a real meal on the weekend. Look it up. It’s in the Bill of Rights.
26I’m not being lazy. I’m just on energy saving mode.
If you find yourself feeling guilty for having an unproductive weekend, just think of it as saving up your battery for the week to come.
27Hello, Sunday evening. So, we meet again.
The perfect caption to accompany your Sunday Scaries snapshot, featuring sweatpants, an empty bottle of rosé, and a random episode of your comfort TV series. Cue The Office, Season 4, Episode 13, “Dinner Party.”
28My take on the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update:
*Insert your personal Saturday night vibes here*
29It’s called Saturday, so I just sat around all day.
If they didn’t want people to sit around and watch Netflix all afternoon, they probably should have come up with a better name for that day of the week. It’s all their fault.
30“Cheers to the freakin’ weekend!” – Rihanna, “Cheers (Drink to That)”
No matter how you like to spend your weekend, live it to the fullest, and make our girl Rihanna proud!
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