Reddit Is Siding With Mom Who Wants Husband To Save Sick Days For When She Needs A Break

Stay-at-home moms do not get sick days. They do not get paid time off or lunch breaks or any of those other perks enjoyed by people employed outside the home. So what do they do when they need a break? For one stay-at-home mom of four, she shared on Reddit that she would like her husband to put aside some of his paid days off to step in for her when she needs a break, and many people on social media are applauding her.

The stay-at-home mom shared her thoughts in a recent post on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum, explaining that she is raising four kids aged 18 months, 3, 7, and 10 years old as well as homeschooling them. Something she has done for years while also dealing with several chronic illnesses that leave her “tired all the time.” Despite her exhaustion, she wrote, “our house is reasonably clean, I cook every meal from scratch due to food sensitivities, and my kids consistently test above grade level.” As for her husband, he works as a salesman and gets 12 paid sick days per year on top of his holidays, most of which he never uses. And she’s ready for that to change.

“I told hubby if I had a full time job I would get sick days. I deal with my symptoms well most days, but some days I'm dealing with nearly fainting, extremely low blood pressure, dizziness to the point I can barely walk,” she explained on Reddit. “I told him I want to reserve six of his sick days for those kind of days.”

Her husband, however, disagreed. “He says no, I function just fine and don't need sick days. I said either he gives me emergency days or I'll hire a sitter those days (we have no family nearby and I rarely get help if hubby is away),” she continued. “He says I'm being unreasonable and I can just sit the kids in front of the DVD player on bad days.”

She wanted to know if she was being unreasonable, and Reddit responded with a resounding absolutely not.

One user reasoned that caring for his family while his wife is sick should be an acceptable reason to take a sick day. “Wouldn't using those sick days to care for a family member be acceptable? If she's dizzy to the point of fainting or in pain from Crohn's, you'd think he'd want to be there for her,” they commented. “He wouldn't have to ‘reserve’ a certain number for her, but I think he should be willing to use them if she needed him to.”

Another Redditor took umbrage with the husband’s advice to sit around watching television all day while the kids are at home, commenting: “‘Neglect our kids when you are sick’ is NOT a plan when there’s another (extremely reasonable) option. You cannot leave 3yo and an 18mo children in front of a TV for hours. And if you injured yourself trying to push through? Who would call 911? Who would take care of the kids all day while you recover?”

While some users questioned her decision to homeschool four children as someone suffering from chronic illnesses, ultimately the general consensus seemed to be that her husband should be willing to use some of his sick days if she needs help. Perhaps especially as she admitted he often lets the majority of his sick days go unused.

Moms who stay home with their kids need breaks just like everyone needs a break. Asking her husband to keep some sick days aside doesn’t seem like a terrible idea. In fact, it seems like a step in the right direction.