New Mom On TikTok Shares PowerPoint Of Rules For Meeting Her Baby

The first days, weeks, and months following the birth of a baby can be overwhelming, even under the best of circumstances. In the worst circumstances, new parents not only have to deal with childcare and recovery but also friends and family, however well-meaning, who ignore boundaries and make their lives more difficult. Clear communication of your wishes — who gets to visit, when for how long, and under what circumstances — can help mitigation expectation and disappointment. But one mom on TikTok who posts as @IRefuseToRot, took this to a new level by sharing a PowerPoint presentation with eager friends and family. Yes, PowerPoint: it’s not just for meetings that could have been emails anymore!

“We presented this to our entire family before our baby was born,” she wrote as a caption. “Often times people overlook the importance of protecting a new baby because they have survivorship bias. Something we heard time and time again throughout my pregnancy was ‘Well we did it this way and my kids turned out okay.’ At one point I started saying ‘I am not looking for any advice or suggestions.’ Those who did not respect our boundaries were not welcome around us and our baby. Trust me, we had plenty of people protest. In the end, those who respect you and your wishes will be on board with your plan. If they don’t like it, too bad.”

Most of these rules are pretty standard — hand washing, vaccinations, masking, and a clean bill of health were must before visiting. This was especially important to the first-time mom because her baby, Ezra, was born at the height of cold and flu season during a notably rough year for RSV, which can be dangerous and even deadly for newborns. @IRefuseToRot also let people know they wouldn’t be receiving visitors at home for the first eight weeks and wouldn’t be attending family events, including holidays, until after her child had four months of vaccinations.

Other rules were a bit more niche, including no kissing the baby “anywhere,” no standing while holding the baby and no passing the baby person to person — “mommy or daddy” were required intermediaries. They also stipulated that the baby would not be out of sight from either parent and that no flash photography would be allowed.

Response to the exhaustive list ran the gamut from supportive to skeptical to downright derisive.

“People will do stuff like this and then scream about not having a village,” wrote one TikTok user, whose comment has received more than 28,000 likes as of press time.

Others thought that unequivocally stating boundaries up front was a good idea.

“As a healthcare worker, all of this is so valid. This is not insane at all,” one commented.

“I think it’s awesome that you’re setting such clear boundaries!!!!! Nothing scarier than a sick newborn!” another wrote.

In response to a comment further down, @IRefuseToRot told one commenter that it was experience with her family’s lack of boundaries that prompted her to create a firm, highly detailed list in the first place.

More still took issue not so much with the message but the way it was worded. Others didn’t take issue with the rules so much as the method of communication

“It’s not what you say,” replied a commenter, “it’s how you say it...”

Whatever strangers on the internet think of this approach to communicating with friends and family, however, this ultimately comes down to “Their baby, their rules.” And while we personally like to think that anyone in the presence of a baby doesn’t need to be told not to shake them, spelling everything out clearly and in a mass communication worked out for this content creator. In her introduction, she notes that her baby is now four months old and, in the end, everybody got on board with the rules that were important to her and her partner.