72 Hilarious Valentine's Day Jokes For Kids

Whether you have a budding comedian on your hands who wants to include a joke in every single card they hand out at school, or your kids just really appreciate a good gaffe, these Valentine's Day jokes for kids are a hilariously sweet way to celebrate the holiday. While usually reserved for romance, Feb. 14 is the perfect opportunity to share a joke or a silly riddle that will make your kiddo smile from ear to ear.

Traditional Valentine's Day gifts pale in comparison to the gift of a hearty (not to mention heartfelt) laugh. A box of chocolates, some conversation hearts, or a bright-red, heart-shaped lollipop are all tasty treats, but a V-Day joke that includes a pun about light bulbs? Well, that's a gift that keeps on giving. Not only are these kid-friendly jokes and Valentine’s Day riddles worth re-telling, but they make the perfect addition to any Valentine's Day card or gift given by or to your little one.

Valentine's Day Knock Knock Jokes

• Knock knock. Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who got you a Valentine!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Al. Al who? Al be your Valentine!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Be. Be who? Be my Valentine, please!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for being my friend, Valentine!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to be my Valentine?
• Knock knock. Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any chocolates left for me?
• Knock knock. Who's there? Peas. Peas who? Peas be my Valentine!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl be your Valentine if you'll have me!

Jokes With Valentine's Day Puns

• Why is Valentine's Day a good day for a party? Because you can really party hearty.
• What did one squirrel say to the other on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you.
• What did one strawberry say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love you berry much.
• What do farmers give for Valentine's Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
• What did one cat say to the other on Valentine's Day? I think you're purr-fect.
• Why do skunks love Valentine's Day? Because they're very scent-imental.
• What did the baker say to his wife on Valentine's Day? I'm dough-nuts about you.
• What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine's Day? You're one-in-a-melon!
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
• What did the ghost say to their Valentine? You look boo-tiful.
• Where did the hamburger take their sweetheart to celebrate Valentine's Day? A meatball.
• What did the chef give his sweetheart? A hug and a quiche.
• What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine's Day? Tulips.
• What did the rabbit say on Valentine's Day? Some-bunny loves you!
• What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? I'm stuck on you.
• What did one sheep say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love ewe.
• What did one whale say to the other on Valentine's Day? Whale you be mine?
• What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love you watts and watts.
• What did one bee say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love bee-ing with you!
• What did the caveman give his Valentine? Lots of ughs and kisses.
• What do you write in a Valentine's Day card for a slug? Be my Valen-slime.
• What kind of flowers should you not give out for Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers.
• What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine's Day? I lava you a lot.
• If your aunt runs away to get married on Valentine’s Day, what can you call her? Antelope.
• What did the circle say to the triangle on Valentine’s Day? I think you’re acute.
• What did the elephant say to his Valentine? I love you tons.
• What did the chocolate sauce say to the scoop of ice cream? I’m sweet on you.
• What did one oar say to the other oar? How about a little row-mance?
• What did one Jedi say to the other one on Valentine’s Day? Yoda one for me!
• How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart? He gave her a ring.
• What did the cucumber say to his Valentine? You mean a great dill to me.
• What did the painter say to her Valentine? I love you with all of my art.
• What do pies say on Valentine’s Day? Pie love you berry much!
• What did the tree say on Valentine’s Day? Do you be-leaf in love?

Classic Valentine's Day Jokes

• What's the best part about Valentine's Day? The day after when all the candy's on sale.
• Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Because he stole her heart.
• What do you call the smallest Valentine's Day card? A Valen-tiny.
• Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Yep, February 14th.
• Why did the Valentine get arrested? For stealing someone's heart.
• Why did the two flames go on a date for Valentine's Day? They were a perfect match.
• What did the paperclip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
• What did the calculator say to the pen on Valentine's Day? You can count on me.
• What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine's Day? Third degree burns on your lips.
• Why didn't the skeleton send any Valentine's Day cards? His heart wasn't in it.
• What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
• What did the pickle say to his Valentine? You mean a great dill to me.
• What did the bat say to her Valentine? I love hanging with you.
• What did the owl say to his Valentine? Owl always be yours.
• Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? They’re really scent-imental.
• What did the hamburger buy for his Valentine? An onion ring.

Valentine’s Day Riddles For Kids

• What can be touched, but can’t be seen? Someone’s heart.
• What travels around the world for Valentine’s Day, but just stays in one corner? A stamp.
• Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable? They have hearts.
• Why would you put candy under your pillow? To have sweet dreams.
• I can be stolen or given away and you’ll live, but you can’t live without me. What am I? Your heart.
• Which one of Santa’s reindeer can be seen on Valentine’s Day? Cupid.
• When you buy me, I’m expensive, but the only use I have is just hanging. What Valentine’s Day gift am I? Earrings.
• What comes in different shapes, sizes, and colors, reveals true feelings, but is almost always flat? A Valentine’s Day card.
• Where did the man who promised his girlfriend a diamond take her on Valentine’s day? A baseball field.
• What did the octopus say to their Valentine? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
• What kind of candy is never on time for their Valentine’s Day date? ChocoLATE.
• What did the dustpan say to the broom on Valentine’s Day? You sweep me off my feet.
• What shade of red is your heart? Beat red.

Your kids won’t be able to stop giggling when you give them the gift of a hilarious Valentine’s Day joke in their card this year. These sweet and silly jokes for kids are sure to bring a smile to their face come Feb. 14.