50 Funny & Sweet Valentine’s Day Riddles

Sharing a laugh with your kids, your partner, your coworkers, or anyone else on Valentine’s Day can be a fun way to enjoy the day together. Whether you write them in a card or just rattle them off around the breakfast table, these Valentine’s Day riddles are sure to get lots of laughs on February 14.

A riddle differs from a regular joke thanks to a play on words, pun, or the amount of thinking that goes into the answer. Most of the time, riddles take a beat or two to figure out, and the punchline requires a bit of brain work to understand. Simply put, a riddle is a joke you have to think about. (But if you’re in the mood for a Valentine’s Day joke, there are plenty of those, too!)

Are some of these riddles a little ridiculous? Maybe. But they’re also super fun to toss back and forth all day long on Valentine’s Day.

Traditional Valentine’s Day riddles

• I can be stolen or given away and you’ll live, but you can’t live without me. What am I? Your heart.
• When you buy me, I’m expensive, but the only use I have is just hanging. What Valentine’s Day gift am I? Earrings.
• What can be touched, but can’t be seen? Someone’s heart.
• What type of flower is kissable? Tulips.
• What connects two people, but only touches one? A wedding ring.
• What travels around the world for Valentine’s Day, but just stays in one corner? A stamp.
• Which one of Santa’s reindeer can be seen on Valentine’s Day? Cupid.
• Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable? They have hearts.
• You can touch me, you can break me, and you should win me if you want to be mine. What am I? A heart.
• Why would you put candy under your pillow? To have sweet dreams.
• A doctor and a truck driver are in love with the same woman. The truck driver had to go on a week-long trip and gave the woman seven apples before he left. Why? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!
• Where did the man who promised his girlfriend a diamond take her on Valentine’s day? A baseball field.
• What comes in different shapes, sizes, and colors, reveals true feelings, but is almost always flat? A Valentine’s Day card.
• I can be round, square, or heart-shaped, white or dark, big or small, and on Valentine’s Day, I am loved by all. What am I? Chocolate.

Valentine’s riddles with puns

• If your aunt runs away to get married on Valentine’s Day, what can you call her? Antelope.
• What did the circle say to the triangle on Valentine’s Day? I think you’re acute.
• What did the piece of gum say to their Valentine? I chews you.
• Why did the banana go out with the fig? Because he couldn’t get a date.
• What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you.
• Why did the cannibal break up with her Valentine? He didn’t suit her taste.
• What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
• What did the chocolate sauce say to the scoop of ice cream? I’m sweet on you.
• How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
• What did the elephant say to his Valentine? I love you tons.
• What did the train say to its Valentine? I choo-choo-choose you.
• What did the rabbit say to her Valentine? You’re no bunny until some bunny loves you.
• How does a barista write in a Valentine’s Day card? Words can’t espresso how much I love you.
• What did the pepperoni say to its Valentine? You’ve got a pizza my heart.
• What do you call Valentine’s Day in a fish tank? Guppy love.
• How does a zoologist say “Happy Valentine’s Day?” I love you like no otter.
• What did one orca say to the other on Feb. 14? Whale you be my Valentine?

Corny Valentine’s Day riddles

• What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweet hearts.
• What do you call a very small Valentine? A valentiny.
• What did the chef give his sweetheart? Hugs and quiches.
• What did one oar say to the other oar? How about a little row-mance?
• What is a vampire’s sweetheart called? A ghoul-friend.
• What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
• What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.
• What did the lightbulb say to his valentine? I love you watts and watts.
• What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep? I love ewe!
• What did the owl say to his Valentine? Owl always be yours.
• What did the painter say to her Valentine? I love you with all of my art.
• What did the pickle say to his Valentine? You mean a great dill to me.
• Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? They’re really scent-imental.
• What did the bat say to her Valentine? I love hanging with you.
• What did the hamburger buy for his Valentine? An onion ring.
• What did the octopus say to their Valentine? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
• Why is romaine the most loving lettuce? Because it’s got heart.
• What happens when your Valentine is a chef? You get buttered up.

Now for one last riddle: What is funny and informative, but now must come to an end? This list of Valentine’s Day riddles. Sorry, it had to be done. If you’re all squared away on riddles now and need some dirty Valentine’s Day jokes to text your boo, there’s inspo for that too.