What To Say To Someone Who Has Lost Their Mom On Mother’s Day

Holidays after the loss of a loved one are always hard, but it’s especially tough when a holiday meant to celebrate them — like Mother’s Day — comes around. For someone whose mom is no longer living, a holiday that is all about celebrating that special relationship can be a truly tender time. What do you say to someone who has lost their mom on Mother’s Day? You want to be supportive, but grief is complex, and it can be hard to know what words to use. However, it’s valuable to acknowledge their loss, and create a safe space for them to share their feelings.

What to say to someone who has lost their mom on Mother’s Day

“Oftentimes, people feel uncomfortable or are afraid to reach out to someone grieving the loss of their mother on Mother's Day,” clinical psychologist Dr. Tania Czarnecki tells Romper. “We can offer support by honoring where they are, being present, listening and refraining from fixing or cheering up the person.” Czarnecki suggests being specific when speaking to someone who has lost their mother — “Can I get you a coffee today?” — rather than asking open-ended questions like, “What do you need?”

What you say to someone on Mother’s Day when they have lost their mom also depends a lot on what your relationship looks like. For example, what you say to your best friend will probably look different than what you say to your spouse or a coworker. If you knew their mom well, mental health counselor Dr. Joanne Frederick suggests sharing a memory. “This personalizes the situation and shows that you have not forgotten their mother,” Frederick says. “If you can, recount a humorous event that encapsulates their mom’s personality. When we have lost a loved one, it’s comforting to know that others have not forgotten their existence and remember them fondly.”

Otherwise, simply letting someone know that you care and want to honor their mom’s memory on Mother’s Day can go a long way.

Simple things to say to someone who lost their mom this Mother’s Day

• I’m thinking of you today.
• I’m here for you.
• I’m thinking about your mom today.
• Your mom was one of a kind.
• Holding you in my heart today.
• I’m so sorry for your loss.
• I miss your mom a lot.
• Honoring your mom’s memory today.
• Remembering your sweet mom on Mother’s Day.
• Sending you so much love today.

What to say to someone who has lost their mom to acknowledge their loss on Mother’s Day

• I’m sure today is hard, and I’m sorry.
• It’s OK if you don’t feel OK today.
• I know you miss her so much.
• Your mom was a wonderful person and she is missed.
• My heart hurts for you.
• May your mom’s memory live on.
• My deepest condolences to you and your family this Mother’s Day.
• Your mom was so special, and I know you miss her.
• I didn’t know your mom well, but I know she must have been amazing to raise someone like you.
• I know what a strong bond you shared and I’m so sorry for your loss.
• Your mom was such a joy and I know you miss her dearly.
• I know today is tough. She’s always with you.

Words of support for someone who has lost their mom on Mother’s Day

• How can I support you today?
• Would you like to share any special memories of your mom?
• How can I help you honor your mom’s memory?
• If you need to talk today, I’m here to listen.
• There will be zero judgement from me if you need a shoulder to cry on today.
• I’m here however you need me today.
• Please know that I’m here for you today and every day.
• I don’t want to intrude, but I’m here if you need me.
• I know nothing I can say will take away your hurt today, but know that you are loved.
• Your mom would be so proud of the person you are today.
• May your mom’s spirit continue to guide you.
• Your mom loved you so much.
• I’d love to hear a story about your mom today.

“Whether the loss was recent or many years ago, Mother’s Day can be difficult for those who no longer have a mother,” Frederick tells Romper. When everyone else is celebrating their mom on Mother’s Day, a person who has lost their mother may be in need of some extra support. Simple gestures like a card, some flowers, a text message, or just a few spoken words of encouragement can help them feel less alone.

Sources interviewed:

Dr. Tania Czarnecki, Psy.D., clinical psychologist practicing in Philadephia

Dr. Joanne Frederick, licensed mental health counselor practicing in Washington, D.C.