10 Moms On Being Shamed For Sending (Or Not Sending) Their Kids To School This Fall

“Homeschooling did NOT go well these past few months, and as such, I’m sending my twins back to school in the fall to start third grade. My husband stupidly told his mom, and now my mother-in-law has been sending me daily death tolls — I kid you not. You would think that she would be happy that I want my kids to be educated, which is something I’m just not equipped to do. But no, she acts like I’m sending my boys to the slaughter.” — Monica, Utah

“The thought of my 5-year-old wearing a mask all day long, stuck with the same kids, and eating lunch at his desk was too much for me, and so I’m opting out of school for the fall. My husband thinks I’m being dramatic, but I feel that there is still so much that is unknown about this disease, and in particular how it affects children. He says our state isn’t seeing that many cases like in Arizona or Texas, but still. We’ve had a lot of fights about it, and it’s sad, since the one shaming my choice is my spouse.” — Mina, Hoboken, New Jersey

“I am keeping my three home next year and hoping for a distance learning option. If one isn’t offered, though, I will be homeschooling. Two of my three have such anxiety and I think they would be very stressed worrying if everyone was following all the rules this year. Plus, I saw such a significant decrease since distance learning began in their stress levels. Of course, I am expecting people to have opinions about the choice once I ‘announce’ it.” — Amanda, New Fairfield, Connecticut

“I live in Nashville, and here, many moms in my area are planning to homeschool. I totally hated it, and to be honest, I think my kids didn’t like their homeschool teacher, either. For that reason alone, they’re going back. They aren’t babies (they’re 10 and 8), so they can handle wearing masks, and I think they would greatly benefit from the socialization that comes with school. The moms in my mommy group think I’m crazy, and there has been more than one heated FB debate about this topic. A couple of friends have started to pull away a little bit, which is sad since our kids are close. I never would have thought that a decision about whether to send your child to school during a pandemic would cause you to lose friends.” — Anonymous

“I’m not planning to send my daughter back until there’s a vaccine. When I mentioned it in a comment on my private FB page, you would have thought that I was planning to lock her in the basement for a year. People came out of the woodwork and accused me of being crazy, extremist, anti-school, you name it. One now former friend even said that there’s no way my child would get a quality education if someone like me were teaching it. Which is ironic and absurd, since I’m a middle school tutor and former full-time in-school teacher.” — Elizabeth, New York

“My parents are not happy with our choice to send our kids back to school in the fall. I feel that they need the structure of school, no matter how strange it might be this year. And I need a break. But every conversation that I have with them always turns around to talk about them going back to school and what a big mistake I’ll be making. I get that these are their only grandkids, but I think I’m equipped to know what’s best for them. It’s caused some tension between us, and while I wouldn’t call it shaming, it’s made our relationship stressful.” — Jessica, Los Angeles, California

“I’ve avoided talking about our plans for back-to-school for this very reason. While my partner and I haven’t made an official decision, we’re leaning towards keeping our kids home. It’s crazy that we’re being shamed into silence for our choice, when all we’re really trying to do is make the best decision armed with the information that we currently have. There’s already so much stress, and to feel shamed for your choice on how to handle your child’s education is ridiculous.” — Anaya, Detroit, Michigan

“Sending your child to school or not has become like a political debate. There are no winners. It hurts because parents really need that sense of community, and I’ve seen first-hand those who have taken a stance to either send their kids or not be shamed and even bullied online. I’m embarrassed to admit that I want my kids to go back of course for educational reasons, but childcare is a big factor. But if I say that, I know I’ll be shredded to pieces, so I try to avoid the topic altogether.” — Kendall, Boulder, Colorado

“Originally, I had planned to send my kids to school, but like most parents, I wasn’t exactly sold on the idea of how they were going to socially distance a bunch of elementary school kids. So I spoke to my child’s former teacher and asked her what she thought about sending the kids back. She said that even she’s afraid, so what are parents supposed to think? I mentioned this to my best friend, who is also planning to send her child in the fall, and she went off on me about being gullible and not acting in the best interest of my children. We’re not talking right now.” — Anonymous

“My wife and I decided at the beginning of the pandemic and homeschooling that we would not send our kids back in the fall. When she told coworkers about our decision, they seemed to agree with her. But then, they would bring it up during Zoom work calls, like, ‘Andrea is the one who wants to homeschool her kids like she’s living in an episode of Little House On The Prairie.’ She’s been so upset about it that she’s started looking for another job, since the teasing hasn’t stopped.” — Linda, Washington, D.C.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support. You can find all of Romper’s parents + coronavirus coverage here.