Finding out that you're pregnant can be exciting and scary, nerve-wracking and calming, all at the same time. Honestly, reactions to a positive pregnancy test are just as unique as the person who just found out their pregnant. The same can be said for the men involved in these pregnancies, and while it should go without saying that heteronormative relationships aren't the only relationships that experience pregnancies, a man's reactions to pregnancy news can range from terrified to elated to confused (honestly, just like anyone else's). However, the way grown-ass men react to a pregnancy announcements won't add to the potential fear or stress their now-pregnant partner is feeling.
Grown-ass men won't point fingers or place blame (if the pregnancy wasn't planned or necessarily wanted) when he finds out his partner is expecting; they won't ask their pregnant partner to make them feel better about a potentially life-changing situation because, well, they're not the ones that are going to be housing a human for 40+ weeks. No, a grown-ass man is going to realize that, while this news definitely affects him, it doesn't affect him as much as it does the person who just told him she's expecting. Sure, there are ways to tell if your significant other is a man child before you decide and/or end up procreating with him, but someone's true character doesn't always reveal itself right away. How a man reacts to a pregnancy announcement will, for better or worse, reveal a lot about who is he as a human being. Of course, we're all human and men have feelings, just like anyone else, but when you're a grown-ass man, you deal with those feelings and manage those feelings in a healthy way that doesn't hurt someone else, especially the potential mother of your child.
Starting a family (whether it was a planned or unplanned pregnancy) is a big deal, and grown men know that the moment they find out their partner (whether they're a long-term companion or a relatively new acquaintance) is expecting, that their life isn't the only life that will potentially change. They're going to realize that there are conversations to be had, decisions to be made, and they won't make those conversations or decisions any harder by pitching a fit or refusing to deal with the reality of their current situation.
If the father of your future child is a grown-ass man, he's not going to freak out or bail or make you feel guilty for sharing your pregnancy news with him. No, he's going to have a much, much different reaction.
"What Do You Want To Do?"
Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, this needs to be the first question out of a grown-ass man's mouth. Even if the pregnancy was planned, there are so many intense, mixed-emotions the now-pregnant woman is probably feeling, and she needs someone to listen to her and help her sort through them. Pregnancy news isn't always joyful, guys. Every woman needs (and should) have someone that lets her know that whatever she wants to do, she's supported. Yes, how a grown-ass man feels matters, but how the person who is potentially carrying and birthing another human life feels, well, matters more.
"How Are You Feeling?"
Pregnancy can be tough sometimes (read: almost all the time). If your partner is a grown-ass man, he's aware that procreation takes a severe physical and mental tole on a woman, and he's concerned about the overall well-being of not just the mother of this child, but his partner. He knows that no matter how he feels about the news, you're the one carrying the baby and sacrificing your body to start a family, and that's not always an easy or comfortable thing.
"What Can I Do To Help You?"
Although your partner might not be carrying the baby, he understands that there's still things that he can do to make your pregnancy run smoother. Whether that's attending doctors appointments, setting up the nursery, or just cooking supper so that you can get off of your feet, he wants to do whatever it is that's going to help you. He understands that he doesn't have to wait until the baby is born to contribute. If he's helping you before your baby is even born, it's safe to assume that he's game to take on early morning feedings and diaper duty because he knows that you two are equals, and that dads should take equal responsibility in the lives of their children.
"Everything Is Going To Be OK. We Got This."
A grown-ass man is going to remind his partner that they can handle a pregnancy, if they can and are willing and have decided to handle it. There are so many logistics that go along with pregnancy and childbirth, and after the initial shock and/or excitement wear off, those logistics can be overwhelming. A grown-ass man is going to remind his partner that, hey, they can handle this. They can become parents. They can do this, together.
"I'm Here For You"
Sometimes (read: the majority of the time) a woman doesn't need her partner to do anything for her, but rather just let her know that they're there for her if and when she needs them. Just having the reassurance of someone being there for her is enough to make her feel better and keep her mind at ease. Pregnancy can be scary, and sometimes there's nothing that either of you can do about certain circumstances that may or may not arise. Knowing that you've got someone by your side that wants to make it all better, even if they can't, definitely helps.
"This Is The Best News Ever!"
Right? I mean, if the two of you are ready and willing and able to continue with the pregnancy, this really is some pretty awesome news. It honestly doesn't (and shouldn't, if the news is welcomed) have to be all logistics. If your partner is afraid or scared, he is going to voice those concerns too because, hey, you're in a partnership and that should be a thing. Of course, if he is excited and can't wait to be a father, he is going to voice that excitement, too. The point is, a grown-ass man isn't going to mask his emotions (whatever they may be) just because he's a "dude." He is going to let his pregnant partner know how he feels, and if it is a boatload of joy, he's going to be jumping up and down like a kid in line to see Star Wars.
"When Are We Due?"
The key word in this phrase is "we." When your partner refers to your baby's due date as an inclusive day for the two of you, not just you because you're the one carrying the baby, it shows that he's equally invested in preparing for the big day. Referring to the two of you and your unborn child as "we" means that he sees you as his equal, and that he's not putting all of the responsibility for bringing this child into the world solely on you.
"We're Going To Be A Family!"
Whether the two of you had any long term plans of a relationship together or not, if you've decided to bring a child into the world together, you are becoming a family. Families don't always look like a married man and woman; quite often, in fact, families look like more like two people that are co-parenting their child but aren't in an actual relationship. A grown-ass man is aware of how unique every family is, and he knows that no matter what happens to the romance between the two of you, you will always be a family.
"Let's Start Planning"
A grown-ass man is ready to get his ducks in a row when he finds out his partner is expecting. In fact, he might even take on more of that responsibility, as he isn't the human incubator and probably has a little more energy to start calling doctors/midwives/doulas and/or researching best cribs, and everything else that goes along with baby preparation. Whatever is on the horizon, he wants to be as prepared as possible so that the journey is as smooth as it can be, for all involved.
"You're Amazing"
The fact that a woman's body can do what pregnancy does, is nothing short of incredible. I mean, a woman is literally housing and growing another human, only to bring them into the world. It's insane, if you really stop to think about it. A grown-ass man is going to be in awe of his now-pregnant partner, and wont' stop to let her know that what she is doing is, well, amazing. She's amazing. Pregnancy is amazing (and exhausting and scary and all of those other things, too).
Really and truly, there are so many ways to react to a positive pregnancy test, and it's somewhat unfair to say what way is "right" or "wrong." I know that there are definitely things you shouldn't say, but procreating is a big deal and how any one person feels about it is valid and should be respected. Having said that, a grown-ass man isn't going to add to the stress and fear that a pregnancy can make a woman feel. No, they are going to assist her and assure her and support her any way that they can, through action and through words.
