I'll be the first to admit that when it came to pregnancy sex, I needed some time to warm up to the idea. I had a hard time getting used to my always-changing, stretching, expanding body, and that made intimate physical activity feel more awkward than pleasurable. Add a bought of horrendous morning sickness, constipation and heartburn and, well, I just didn't feel sexy. Thankfully, the things every grown-ass man does during pregnancy sex were the things my partner was more than willing to do. In fact, he seemed to just know what I needed, what I didn't need, when to engage me in some sexy time and when to leave me the hell alone. (Guys, it pays to procreate with your best friend. Trust me.)
It's not uncommon for most women to experience a higher sex drive when they're pregnant, so getting it on while you're baking a bun in the oven is so very normal. If you don't have a high-risk pregnancy and you've been cleared for sexual activity by your doctor or midwife, pregnancy sex is safe and (I can tell you from experience) extremely enjoyable. Like, full disclosure here: I have had some of my most intense, mind-blowing orgasms during pregnancy sex. Sure, the baby bump got in the way sometimes and there were moments when I felt more like a humping hippo on some National Geographic channel; but I enjoyed myself and the orgasms sure did help ease my anxiety and it was a great way for my partner and I to connect before we added a mini-human to the mix.
Of course, sex is a two way street of safety and consent, so there are so many things a grown-ass man not only can do, but will do, in order to make sure that pregnancy sex is just as enjoyable for his partner as it is for him. So, with that in mind, fellas, take some notes:
He Consistently Communicates...
Pregnancy sex, especially at first and especially during the later months when that pregnant belly is super intrusive, can be awkward. That's not to say that it can't be fantastic, because it can be, but the pregnant person in this sex equation is still trying to adjust to the many changes her body is going through, so constant communication is key.
Ask her if she feels comfortable; ask her if she feels good; ask her if she's comfortable; ask her if she has a better, perhaps more "fruitful" position in mind. Hell, throw in some sexy talk and you will have yourself a grand ole time, just make sure you keep the communication channels clear.
...And Checks In With His Partner Regularly
It's not enough to simply talk at the beginning of your get down session, then keep your mouth shut for the duration of your intimate time together. Your partner could start feeling uncomfortable and will need to change positions or try something different, so keep checking in with her periodically. This can be very, very sexy (yes, I am talking from experience) so don't be afraid to ask her if she's feeling OK or if she likes something you're doing.
If you continuously communicate, your partner won't feel awkward or weird about speaking up and saying something just isn't going "according to plan." The two of you are figuring this out together, and feeling like you're both exploring one another and this new kind of sex as a team will make the entire situation less awkward and more pleasurable. Trust.
He Doesn't Worry About Hurting The Baby
Listen here, fellas. Don't flatter yourselves. If your pregnant partner has been medically cleared for sexual activity, you will not hurt the baby. You will not "poke" the baby. Not to be too crass or anything, but you're just not that big and it's just not how pregnancy sex works. Relax.
He Takes The Time To Research Safe Positions And/Or More Comfortable Positions
As your partner's pregnancy progresses, certain positions will probably be off limits. For example, anything that puts any pressure on your partner's growing baby bump (like her laying on her stomach) will be a no-go. So, do your homework, gentlemen.
There are plenty of safe pregnancy sex positions that you can try and take advantage of, you just have to know about them first.
He Makes Sure His Partner Gets Off, Too
This isn't all about you gentlemen (and, honestly, it never should be). Orgasms are a great thing for all involved, especially a pregnant woman who may be stressed or experiencing fluctuating hormones. So make sure your partner gets off. Cater to her needs. Don't be selfish.
He Compliments His Partner's Pregnant Body
Staying body positive when you're pregnant isn't necessarily an "easy" thing for plenty of women, so pregnancy sex can feel more awkward than sexy. Help your pregnant partner feel great about her body and compliment her. It seems superficial, sure, but compliments go a long way and when your pregnant partner is feeling vulnerable and detached from her body (because the changes a woman experiences when she's growing another human are no joke), simply telling her she looks beautiful or sexy or desirable, helps.
Takes A Back Seat So His Partner Can Take The Lead
You don't have to be the one to call the shots between the sheets. In fact, let your partner take the lead so she can position herself in a way that feels most comfortable for her and her pregnant body. Let her dictate the pace and the depth, so that she doesn't experience any pain or discomfort. You won't have to do anything but enjoy yourself, and your partner can feel completely in control. Win-win, my friends.
He Takes His Time...
No need to rush, gentlemen (unless this isn't your first baby and you have another kid running around. Then, by all means, get to business and hurry it up.). You can take your time and really "worship" your partner's pregnant form. Explore some fun foreplay techniques and really work to make your partner feel as comfortable and ready for actual intercourse, as possible. This doesn't have to be a quick exchange, by any stretch of the imagination.
..Or, If His Partner Wants, Hurries It Up
Then again, your pregnant partner may be looking forward to some relaxation (or Netflix) after your sexy time, and if that's the case you can feel free to get this sexy show on the road.
From personal experience, I can tell you that "love making" doesn't have to last all freakin' night long to be enjoyable. A quickie is hot, satisfying, and practical. This is when, of course, communication comes into play. If your partner is asking you to finish, get to it, gents.
Refuses To Pressure His Partner Into Sex
This should go without saying, but we live in a society that still values women's bodies as nothing more than things that can satisfy the pleasures of straight, cisgender men. If you're in a relationship and your partner doesn't feel like having sex (whether she's pregnant or not) that's the end of the conversation. There's no reason to pressure your partner into doing anything she doesn't want to do because consent consent consent consent. Consent is not automatically awarded to you just because you're in a relationship. That's literally not how it works.
Some women experience a higher sex drive while they're pregnant, and they're just itching to get their partners in the sack. Other women, however, don't feel any sexual desires at all, and would rather abstain from sex entirely. Both situations are, of course, totally normal and fine and should be respected.
