10 Ways To Kick Someone Out Of The Labor And Delivery Room, Because Your Comfort Matters

When I realized that a specific nurse could no longer be in the room if I was going to feel comfortable and capable of concentrating on the task at hand, I gave my partner what can only be described to as "the look." Oh, you know "the look." It's the glance shared between two people that says, "If you don't take care of this problem right this second I am going to scream and/or lose my freakin' mind."

I put him to task and he went through the proper channels to have this particular nurse re-assigned. I didn't have to worry about it and could, instead, focus on bringing our son into the world.

I didn't have a Doula (I couldn't afford one and, honestly, I had such a wonderful team of doctors and nurses, I didn't think I needed one) however, I have many friends who have either used Doula's and their services, or are Doulas themselves.

This type of a situations is definitely something you can, and should, ask your Doula to handle. After all, they're there to help ease you through the stages of labor and support you any way you need.

I had two of my best friends in the labor and delivery room with me. I consider those two women family, so there wasn't really a question as to whether or not they would be present for the birth of my son.

I did have other friends who wanted to be present, too, but I didn't feel as comfortable having them in the room. I also didn't want to hurt their feelings because, well, some friends were "invited," and some weren't. So, I made those friends in charge of the waiting room. I found that giving certain friends tasks that didn't involve being present as I was pushing another human being out of my body, gave them a sense of purpose and didn't make them feel left out. Problem. Solved.

My mother couldn't be present for the birth of her grandson, because Alaska is pretty far away. So, I put a friend in charge of giving her minute-by-minute updates. I didn't want to be on the phone with my mother while I was contracting or pushing, but I wanted her to feel like she was involved in the process, even when she was thousands of miles away.

My friend was able to feel like she was part of the process, too, without actually being in the room, and my mother felt like she was there. It was perfect.

Not only is this essential, it will help get that certain someone out of the room (and even out of the hospital). Whatever you're craving is probably something people will be more than happy to run out and get you because, again, it gives someone a purpose and makes them feel like they're part of the labor and delivery process (and, to me, the person with the food was the most important person in my life after I gave birth — besides my kid, of course).

Honestly, whatever you can think of that gets someone out of your room or out of the hospital — but is still related to your labor and delivery and/or them doing something to assist you — is a good way to go. Need that one blanket you unfortunately forgot? Ask them to grab it. Forgot your birthing playlist back at home on your aging iPod? Send someone to fetch it. I guarantee you, the people who care about you to the point they would want to be present when you bring another human into the world, are going to jump at the chance to help anyway they can.

I know that everyone's OB-GYN is different, as is their relationship with them, so perhaps you wouldn't be comfortable asking your doctor to take care of an unwanted visitor. Understandable.

I, personally, had a great relationship with my doctor, and felt completely comfortable with her (and the team she had assembled to help me birth my baby). I just told my doctor that I didn't want anyone else in the room and, well, that was that. When friends showed up last-minute (as I was pushing), the doctor told one of the nurses to handle it. I barely even noticed when two friends were kept from coming into the room.

I didn't ask the charge nurse to reassign the nurse I didn't get along with and/or feel comfortable with, but my partner did. He went straight to the charge nurse, who handled the situation in a respectable and professional manner. That way, my partner didn't have to engage in a potentially awkward conversation with the nurse we didn't really like, and the charge nurse could simply say she needed that particular nurse elsewhere. No one's feelings were hurt and, in the end, that's part of the charge nurse's job anyway.

It never came to this, for me, but I know that if it was necessary I wouldn't have hesitate to tell someone to simply leave.

In the end, I was the one who needed to be comfortable; who needed to have my space; who needed to feel supported by the very specific people I was willing to have support me. I didn't need to spend too much time focused on other people's wants or their feelings. After all, I was the one in extreme pain, doing something as unbelievable as birthing a human being. If telling someone what I needed was really going to upset them, they probably were probably less concerned with my needs, and more concerned with their own.

Pro Tip: Don't ask. Tell. You don't need to worry about being "nice" or "polite." You get to be demanding, dear reader. You're birthing another human being.

Is it kind of you to care about the thoughts and feelings of your friends and family members? Of course. However, in the end, their thoughts and feelings are at the very bottom of your priority list. Do what you need to do so that you can finally meet your baby.