11 Things Every Working Mom Wishes Her Boss Just Knew, Without Her Having To Explain

Seriously. I have small humans in my care and they deserve my attention. As much as I like my job, I always will put them first. Believe it or not, you probably don't really want to live in a world where people put their jobs before their family. The responsibility to help raise the next generation is literally the most important my generation has. It's unfair (and unethical) to expect us to compromise because, for you, work is more important.

Yes, that means I can't stay late, because I need to pick up my kids on time from school and daycare. No, I can't come in on the weekend, because I don't have childcare. Asking me to do those things is unfair, and sometimes even if I was able to do them, I wouldn't want to. I am trying to achieve work/life balance, and that requires time for work and time for a life outside of work. For me that means spending time with my family.

I really am trying to achieve a maybe impossible dream in our culture — working and being a mom, and not failing miserably at either role. I want to be a great employee and a great mother and partner, and I am going to work hard to prove to you that it's possible, but I may need some extra support, encouragement, and flexibility along the way.

I love to work, I want to work, and I try to do my best. I care about my job, otherwise I wouldn't have come to work for you in the first place, and even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Please don't mistake me having competing responsibilities or needing time off once in a while for me not caring.

My kids get sick, and they also occasionally cause me to be late or to have to leave early, interrupt the after-hours conference calls you insist I take, and throw up all over my shoes. I am not using them as an excuse. My life really is more complicated now.

I am trying so hard to do things right and to do a good job, but I am human. I make mistakes and, when I do, I feel really bad. Probably more than before I became a mother.

You see, I am holding myself up to a higher standard now and constantly feel scrutinized by you and others at work. I feel like I can't win, even if I always do things perfectly. When I make mistakes, I know it and feel guilty. No extra guilt trip is required.

I get less sleep now and desperately need caffeine to make it through the day. Sometimes my kids sleep through the night, and sometimes they don't fall asleep until midnight and wake me up before dawn.

My away-from-work schedule is full of drop-offs, pick-ups, activities, homework, and bedtimes. I am tired. So, no comments about dark circles and coffee consumption, please. I know. Sadly, I know.

I, like everyone, deserves to take time off. Especially time off that I have earned. I may have never taken a sick day in the past, but kids get sick, and then parents get sick. It happens. And even when someone is not sick, I deserve time off from work. Vacations are an important part of self care, and they let your employees recharge and come back better workers.

Yes, I've heard the comments about me "mommy tracking" my career, about my kids being sick, the speculation about whether or not I am actually working when I work from home (even though I have never missed a call or deadline), and even when one boss said, "Everyone has things they'd rather do than work on the weekend, don't use your kids as an excuse." You aren't inspiring my trust or loyalty by disparaging me being a mother. That is part of my identity that I can't shut off, and wouldn't want to, even if I could.

Those employers who have offered me the flexibility to work from home, work flexible hours, and even bring my kids to the office in a pinch have quickly learned that actually being "family-friendly" will mean that I will be a loyal and hardworking employee. The same goes for making me feel valued as a working mom, rather than in spite of being a working mom. Family-friendly benefits and celebrations will make me stay happy there, and even more importantly help ensure I stay there, period.

I enjoy working and it shows. I love being able to interact with other adults and to make a difference in the world. Becoming a mother has helped me become better at other things, too. Although I may seem tired and I may actually take a sick day or vacation day once in a while, becoming a mother has made me more patient, creative, flexible, adaptive, and kind.

I know you may be skeptical, but I now really understand priorities, try not to sweat the small stuff, and have learned a thing or two about team building, project management, and how to encourage and motivate others. These things make me a way better employee that I was before.