A couple's first post-baby date night is something that every parent looks forward to, albeit with slight trepidation. When you spend every hour of every day nurturing the needs of a baby, the needs of your relationship inevitably take the back seat. That's why post-baby date night's are crucial to any relationship. Parents need to spend some time together, sans baby, to reconnect and regroup, but that first time away from your babe is sometimes a little, well, different. The weird things parents do on their first post-baby date night are as equally hilarious as they are awkward, and they shine yet another glowing, neon light on the ways a person's life changes after having a baby.
Inevitably, your relationship with your partner will change after kids. Date nights are a crucial part of navigating your way through those new changes and getting to figure out what your new "normal" is, but they also have a way of making new parents feel like a couple of fish out of water. A night out without your kid can be amazing, sure, and they definitely help your relationship after a baby, but more often than not, that first time you and your partner leave your house without your baby is going to feel confusing and wrong and awkward and scary and, well, just plain weird.
You're probably thinking that you and your partner will be different, that you've got the whole date night thing completely handled. Hey, you might be completely right. You might be the coolest, most together couple around and that first night away from your kid is going to be a breeze. Still, that doesn't mean that you're not going to fall subject to the following weird things parents do on their first post-baby date night. It happens to the best of us, parents. Trust me.
You Both Drink Like It's The First Time
Being able to sip on your favorite wine without worrying about taking care of your baby will feel like tasting that sweet alcoholic elixir for the very first time. It will taste so good, in fact, that you'll probably consume copious amounts of it. This will, inevitably, push you into another new discovery: how it feels to be hungover when you're a mom. It's the worst.
You Both Feel Incredibly Old
It might not have been that long since you and your partner had an actual date night (or maybe it has), but after you have a baby, your date night will make you feel like you've aged 30 years in just a matter of months. Suddenly, the loud bachelorette drinkers sitting next to you aren't cute, they're annoying, and you'll forget that, not that long ago, you were sitting at that same table.
You Talk Too Much To Other Adults
When you're cooped up at home with a baby, who is unable to communicate in any way other than crying, your conversational skills might take a little bit of a hit. Once you finally get back out into the "free world," you'll talk some poor stranger's ear off about everything that's happened to you during the last three months of your life because you're just so happy to finally be able to let it all out.
You Both Finish Dinner In, Like, Five Minutes
When you've got a baby to take care of, supper time usually lasts no more than five minutes. So, when you get to actually sit down with your partner and enjoy a meal that you didn't have to cook, you'll probably inhale it as it has become second nature. You've adapted your own behaviors to revolve around that of your child, so eating your meal so quickly that you don't even taste it is a pretty standard way of life.
You Both Talk About Gross Baby Stuff
There was probably a time in your life when discussing the difference between a hard poop and a mushy poop would have made you lose your appetite, but after you're a parent, it's completely second nature to discuss bowel movements while eating pasta.
You Both Talk About Adorable Baby Stuff
Suddenly, you and your partner will remember how freakin' adorable your baby is when you finally get to spend an hour away from him or her. Your entire conversation will revolve around them learning how to roll over or smile. You'll find yourselves talking in baby voices, staring off into the distance, thinking about your baby's perfect hair and cheeks and fingers and toes and, ugh, they're just so darn cute.
You Both Check On The Baby Every Five Minutes
Getting a sitter for the first time is an incredibly stressful event in any parent's life. Trusting another person, whether you know them well or not, with the safety and well-being of your child is frightening. That's why a new parent texts their sitter constantly during the first time they go out. It's a little obnoxious, yes, but it's also totally understandable.
You Both Clean Up Their Entire Table After Dinner So The Waitress Won't Have To
When you're used to cleaning up after a little one all the time, that habit can carry over and into your life outside of your baby. This isn't a bad thing at all, and your waitress will definitely thank you, but it's a complete parent move.
You Both Stare At Other People's Kids
You probably never payed that much attention to other people's children (other than to, maybe, silently wish they weren't around) until you had one of your own. Now that you're a parent, you notice every single child around you and feel the insatiable need to make funny faces at them or squeeze their cheeks.
You Both Take An Awkward Selfie (Or Three)
Did a post-baby date night even happen if you don't take an awkward selfie to prove it?
You Both Feel Like You're On Your Very First Date
Going out with your partner for the first time after you've had a baby together feels a lot like going out for the first time ever. You worry about how your hair looks and what you should say and if you have food in your teeth and if they still think you're cool and, ugh, dating is so stressful. Even when you're on a date with the person you made a baby with.
You Both Go To Bed Before 9:00
Sometimes, going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting a full night's rest sounds just as sexy as a night out on the town, especially to a new parent. You and your partner might have had plans to stay out late and drink and dance the night away, but you'll find that going to bed early sounds just as good, if not better. It's normal and adorable, and it's actually pretty awesome. You don't need a fancy night out to feel like yourselves again, you just need each other.
