It seems the tinier they are, the louder they wail. Sorry about that.

How did you survive years of this, mom? I hit my limit at my daughter’s 18-month mark and you handled it like a champ for 18 years. Tell me your secrets, because pretty soon I am going to be dangerously close to ripping my ears off of my head.

In my room, at the table and literally whenever I encountered ice cream or sand, I made a ridiculous mess that you, inevitably, had to clean up by yourself because I had already moved on to the next mess I wanted to make. I wasn’t trying to be a slob, mind you, but my own kids are now showing me it’s just something they can’t help.

I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t buy sugar cereal like everybody else (or so it seemed) or let us eat out at some fast food restaurant multiple times a day, if not week, but you were right, because I can’t feed that stuff to my kids. Ok, except maybe on Christmas. And on some weekends. And on the days when I just cannot bring myself to cook anything.

Now that I have a kid who doesn’t listen sometimes, because they’re a kid, I get how frustrating this is.

I used to think it was all your fault, but I realize now it’s because you were my world. My kids scream, “I hate you, Mom!” for reminding them it’s bath time, and it hurts. At least they’re not bottling up their emotions though, right?

I have a daughter who fights with her brother and it feels terrible to see the two most precious people in my life want to tear each other apart. I should have show my little brother more kindness, because I know how exhausting it is to referee the endless sibling squabbling.

And you didn’t even have a microwave to reheat it when I was a toddler, in full demand of your attention, so you just downed that cold coffee like the champ you are and never once complained. Seriously mom, you're the real MVP.

Your child-raising tactics seemed so out of touch (“Put the baby on her stomach, that’s what I did with you."), that’s only because you weren’t following the guidelines of some parenting app or newly written article or the vast opinions on some message board. You had human relatives passing along their tried and true childrearing techniques, and obviously those worked because I grew up to be a pretty amazing individual, if I do say so myself. I should have relied less on technology and more on family.

I am really paying for that now. #stomachbug

It seemed impossible to follow one of your many mantras (like sleeping when the baby sleeps) but wow, how nice it would have been to have just listened to you instead of learning the hard way. I spent the majority of my first kid's infancy absolutely sleep deprived, because I didn't sleep when my baby slept. Talk about unnecessary agony.

Now that I've been through labor and delivery myself, I'm just so sorry. I mean, I am so, so sorry. I know that nothing I say can take away the pain that you felt and yes, I know you will continue to say over and over again that it was worth it (and I know it was, because I feel the same way about my kids) but, still. I am so freakin' sorry I did that to you. So sorry. All the sorries. So. Much. Sorry.

Now that I’m a mom, I know that your intentions were always pure, and that even when you made a decision I didn't appreciate or agree with, you did it because it was what was best for me. Our kids may think we’re mean, and we have to ride that out, but until they become parents themselves and it clicks, they'll never know just how much we're willing to do to keep them safe. Love is setting limits. Love is doing the hard things. Love is putting your foot down. Love is what is behind every interaction a mom has with her kids. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.

Here’s hoping my kids have this same revelation in 20 to 30 years!