13 Things You Don’t Understand About Your Mom Until You Become A Mom Yourself

As a kid, I used to wonder why my mother never got her hair done and wore the same old clothes constantly. It's sad, but I get it now. Before I had my son, I had the energy (and time and money) to get my nails done monthly and never left the house sans make-up. Now, I’m lucky if I get a shower in. I know this varies from mom to mom, but most moms go at least a few postpartum months re-wearing old sweatpants, thanks to extreme sleep deprivation and being constantly used as a human spit-up rag and simply putting the needs of a tiny human, over the needs of their own.

Actually, I still don’t get how this gets done. I just know that I, too, end up being able to make it all happen at the last minute if and when I have to and it is probably taking years off my life.

My son is only 2 and I can already feel myself cringing when I see him at the playground and some obnoxious bully-type toddler gets near him. I’m scared he’ll be influenced by him or that the other kid will take his toys and make him cry. I’m pretty sure this fear stays with us all throughout our kids’ lives so, you know, gulp.

Sure, it’s kinda gross and I’ve judged mothers everywhere for it (including my own) and then I end up doing the exact same thing because I'm in a pinch and there's no other option and, well, it's just convenient. I get it now, mom. I so get it.

I have an overactive imagination. I also used to lie to my parents a lot about where I was going and what I was doing, especially in my teen years. I didn’t get why my folks were so overbearing about wanting info but now? Oh, yeah. I get it now. I want to know all the things so I can make sure that my kid is protected and safe and, well, there's no end to the amount of information I require.

I don’t get exactly why we have a preoccupation with making sure our children eat. Something about survival and evolution, I imagine. But I definitely get the internal motivation my mother had for making sure I ate enough (and drank enough water).

Because we are tired and sometimes don’t care and just want to wear something comfortable that holds in our belly pooch, thanks. I guess high-waisted yoga pants are really the new mom jeans and I, for one, am so stoked on it. And honestly, we're too busy raising the next generation of feminists to care about ridiculous beauty standards, thank you.

That first moment you hold your child and silently reflect on everything you did to finally get to hold them, you internalize a kind superpower that you can use forever guilt your kid(s) when they're being rude or mean or just, you know, the worst. It's honestly a guilt that rivals all others. That said, we all end up experiencing a different form of mom guilt as well; the kind that makes us feel like we’re not doing a good enough job and makes us wonder if we’re actually terrible mothers. Even Reese freaking Witherspoon knows what mom guilt is about, so, you know, it's a real thing.

When times were okay, my mom made sure we were all fed and clothed and had money left over for fun things. When times were tough, she was great at still making sure we were fed and clothed and had some niceties now and again. Even when it seemed like we were totally broke, she was always able to pull something out of somewhere. I’m only now starting to understand this magic.

I’ve always admired moms who can stay chill when there’s a million kids running around screaming. I haven’t quite gotten that yet, but I’m starting to.

That giant extra internal organ that grew inside our bodies the moment our kids were born? Yeah, that's called fear. It doesn’t go away and knowing our kids are teens doing the kind of stuff we did as teens is just horrifying.

Yeah, it’s a hard pill to swallow but even some of the more far out stuff that you swore your mom was wrong about probably had at least some grain of truth to it. Seriously. If you haven’t gotten it yet, you will.

As a kid, I thought my mother's life revolved around me and I was her entire world and, I mean, why would she ever want to be far away from me at all. While some of that was true, maybe, most of it wasn't. I was a very important part, to be sure, but my mom was still a human being with other thoughts and feelings and concerns, besides that of her children. I get that now, as I need my "me-time" to tend to myself, and no one else.