13 Ways To Have A Feminist Mother's Day

Mother’s Day has been so co-opted by commercialism, that it seems almost second nature to buy flowers and chocolates as gifts. Unfortunately, this tradition is such an example of benevolent sexism. Instead try to think of your mom as a person, not a stereotype, and buy her a gift with a little more meaning.

There is no escaping that Mother’s Day weighs heavy with the expectation of gifts. I try to honor my feminist beliefs by buying gifts that either support ventures by and for women or aid a charity that will support females in developing countries.

NPR notes that being able to dine alone was an early victory of the women's rights movement. It took a lot of work by suffragettes to finally make it legal for women to eat where they liked, with who they liked. I always raise a glass to these feminist pioneers who fought for me and my mom to have these freedoms.

According to the National Women's History Museum, early suffrage supporters used gold pins, ribbons, sashes, and yellow roses to show support for female empowerment. Wrapping Mother’s Day gifts with yellow ribbons gives a lovely nod to the women who fought for equality, and are also a great conversation starter about the progress of women’s rights.

This sounds so simple, but it's so easy to fall into conversational routines with parents. Mothers have experienced so many advances in women’s rights, and offer a unique perspective to the ongoing conversation. Feminism is about giving all women a voice, and I like to honor that idea by asking the lady who changed my diaper what she thinks.

Until recently, history was written by men, about men, and for men. Women were so often excluded when the progress of the world was reported. I readdress this on Mother’s Day by buying my mom a book by an historically ignored female writer, or taking her to an art exhibition by a female artist from the past. Recognizing woman’s contributions to the the world feels pretty feminist to me.

I always think Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to discuss feminism with my own kid. A day celebrating mothers can lead to some great discourse about what it is to be a female. I make sure I spend some time praising my girl for the beautiful handmade card first though. Gloria Steinem will understand.

I don’t think Mother's Day has to be about the person who gave birth to you. I have been blessed to know some amazing women over the years who have bestowed love, wisdom, and care on me. It’s such a good practice to include them in your gratitude on this holiday. Just a little nudge to let them know they have rocked my world.

I imagine national holidays are always particularly bleak for women using shelters or a refuge. Offering a little support and compassion is a great way for me to not only talk the talk about female empowerment, but also walk the walk. It turns the celebration from being about crass commercialization to helping fellow women in need. And that’s pretty darn feminist.

Some historians believe that the earliest celebrations of Mother’s Day were the ancient spring festival dedicated to mother goddesses. Connecting to the more spiritual side of celebrating motherhood is not only appealing, but empowering.

Instead of taking your mom out to an overpriced spa day, donate to a cause such as Amnesty International and I offer a DIY pamper session. This not only supports worldwide empowerment, but it also encourages some thoughtful celebrations. It’s a Mother’s Day win-win.

If your mom would still prefer chocolates, flowers, and a day at a spa, I don’t think its letting down your feminist principles to do what she wants. After all, female empowerment is about the right to exercise choice, and if the traditional trappings will make mom happy then so be it.

Feminism is about supporting your fellow sisters, and that means acknowledging that the day can be sad for some. Bereavement, toxic family relationships, infertility — all of these can make the rosy depictions of the mother-child bond incredibly triggering. I know that some of my friends will go underground for the day, and will appreciate a call or visit that excludes all mentions of the celebration.