Thanks to the Internet and its influx of images and anonymity of comment sections, people (well, far too many people) have started to think it's appropriate to offer unsolicited comments on how individuals look. Women, especially and unfortunately, take the brunt of these random (and often rude) opinions, because this is America and endlessly discussing how women look just seems to be our thing.
For far too long, too many people have felt it necessary to provide unwanted, unnecessary, and unprovoked observations on women's size, shapes, skin color, wardrobe, and even hair. Whether it's body hair or facial hair or the hair on top of a woman's head, certain members of society seem to have the idea that it's perfectly acceptable to tell a woman what she should do with the hair she has: Shave...or wait, no, don't shave; Wear a weave or a wig, but never talk about it and never, ever admit to it; Grow your hair out or cut your hair short or dye your hair, but don't dye it a particular color; Remember to always choose an "appropriate" hairstyle that sets you apart but doesn't bring you too much attention because that's just shallow. The list of standards and contradicting demands goes on and on and on.
It's time we — individuals of every gender — work together to combat and reverse the idea that a woman's appearance (including her hair) is something to be constantly judged and scrutinized and discussed and dissected. To get us started, here are 14 things you should never say about a woman's hair, because enough it enough. After all, it's her hair, not yours.
"Why Don't You Do Your Hair Like _________?"
Different hairstyles look different on, you guessed it, different people. A woman doesn't have to do her hair like (any) another woman just because they're both women. In fact, a woman doesn't have to do her hair in any other way, than the way she chooses. Suggesting that she should do her hair a certain way, when your opinion hasn't been asked, is rude and unnecessary.
"Did You Mean To Make Your Hair Look Like That?"
There's no reason to ask this question because, honestly, there's only two ways to answer. If the answer is "yes," you've sufficiently shamed someone for their hairstyle choice in a backhanded way that will make that person feel small and insignificant. If the answer is "no," you've told someone that their hair looks horrible, without actually saying the words, which is just cowardly and mean.
"Is All That Hair Really Yours?"
Well, now you're just asking questions that are none of your business.
"Well, It'll Grow Out."
Why? If you think that someone cut their hair short, think it to yourself because they have mirrors and they either A) already know that and don't feel confident, or B) like the length because, hey, it's their hair and they get to decide how short it really is. We all know hair grows, so just, no.
"Ah, I See You're Trying To Be Like ________."
Picking a hairstyle or cut or color that is similar to someone else's (famous or otherwise) doesn't mean that someone is trying to be like someone else. It just means that there are these things called trends and many people like to follow them and experiment with them.
"Rough Night, Or Just Bedhead?"
If someone wants to discuss their evening or morning or anything in between, with you, they will. Don't try to guess what they did or went through, by their hair. And don't pry, for the love of all things tolerable.
"I'm Not Sure That Hairstyle Is Appropriate."
I'm not sure anyone cares what you think is appropriate.
"Is That Your Natural Hair Color?"
If you have to ask, chances are the individual didn't dye their hair a bright yellow or green, so they probably want their hair color to be and look more natural. Why ruin that, by asking if they dyed it or not?
"You Should Grow Your Hair Out."
Not sure if suggesting what a person should do with their hair is the right way to go. Unless someone asks for your opinion or suggestions, you might be touching on a sensitive subject. You might think someone should grow their hair out, but maybe they physically cannot. See? Best to just not suggest anything at all because, after all, it's not your hair.
"You Should Dye Your Hair That Color."
Again, why? Your personal preferences when it comes to hair could be vastly different than someone elses. You might think an ombre or "mermaid hair" would look good on someone, but they might not.
"You Should Cut Your Hair Short."
Picking up on the trend? Seriously, unless someone has asked, don't just offer unsolicited suggestions. What works for you might not work for someone else, and that is just fine.
"Are You Sure That Hairstyle Fits Your Age?"
The idea that a woman should be a specific age to rock a specific hairstyle or color is outdated, offensive and just plain annoying. Don't be rude. If an 82-year-old grandmother wants to dye her hair green and shave the side of her head, she should feel free to do so. The only person who gets to decide what you do with your body — including your hair — is you, and nothing like age or gender or any other social identifier should inhibit you from being the you you are.
"Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?"
This is never OK. Seriously, don't. Just, no. Never.
"OMG, Can I Touch Your Hair??"
Annnnnd we're done here.
