When it comes to your child, you know them better than anyone and de Freitas believes this is extremely helpful in preparing your child for their appointment. "If a child is anxious, only a mother knows if telling a child too early creates more anxiety. And that is not helpful. But some kids need at least a day to prepare themselves. It's very individualized; some kids will agonize over a pending appointment and it's just not worth it."

"Tell your child that you're going to make a list of things to ask the doctor, things you are both worried about," de Freitas suggests. Before heading off to the appointment, make a list with your child of things to ask the doctor and be sure to keep it lighthearted.

You can prep your child for their appointment in fun ways, too. Spend time playing doctor with them, recommends de Freitas. When your little one gets to practice with their dolls or on you, they'll learn to feel more comfortable with their own pediatrician.

If your child is already feeling anxious, showing up frazzled and in a rush to the appointment isn't going to help. "Make it a more relaxed setting by getting there a few minutes early," de Freitas says. "Give yourself time to fill out any paperwork and so the kids can play or read a book."

Your kid's going to be nervous and worried about their appointment, and you can't control that. But what you can do is validate their feelings with de Fretias's "power of three" rule.

"Ask them, 'You are really afraid to come here, aren't you?' They will say yes. Then ask, 'You think it's going to hurt, don't you?' Again, they will say yes," she says. "Then finally ask, 'You wish you could go home right now, don't you?' They will answer yes. Pause for a moment and then tell them that you know they are afraid, you know that they think it will hurt, and you know that they want to go home, but if they'll let you finish the appointment, then you two can go have a treat. After that, stop talking. Too much talking can make them more anxious and by letting them answer your questions, you're validating their feelings and letting them know that they are heard."

The number scale is used in the medical field to describe everyone's pain, and de Freitas thinks it can be helpful for your own kiddo. Ask them what they think their pain is going to be, and then let them know that vaccines and shots are actually only a one or a two on the pain scale. When they have a number to think about, it gives them something to hold on to and expect.

Going to the doctor is no fun, but it's something that has to be done, and you can remind your child of that. There's no need to get anxious about it or paint it as a big deal, but de Freitas recommends explaining to your child that we all do things we don't want to do, but sometimes they are necessary, like going to work or seeing a doctor.

It's hard to keep calm when your child is freaking out, but it's a must, especially if you're having to hold a kid down for shots or force them them to do something for the doctor. "You're the parent, you're in charge," de Freitas says. "Tell them three sentences: It's going to be OK. Mommy loves you. This is safe and it's going to keep you healthy. When you have a calm demeanor, your child will realize this is nothing to be scared about."

de Freitas says one of the worst things you can do to your child at an appointment is tell them you're sorry. "It's not necessary to apologize," she says. "That just increases your child's anxiety because if you're saying sorry, then something must be wrong." Continue to keep calm and remind them of how the visit keeps them healthy.

Especially if you're asking some, too. You can lead your child into ideas de Freitas says, by reminding them about when they fell and hurt their knee last week. "Tell your child, 'Why don't you ask about your knee? I know you were worried about it the other day.' Or suggest to them that they ask about healthy foods they might like to try or even how to make better friends at school if they've been having a hard time with a classmate."

de Freitas says that she tries to be excited for every one of her patients. "I want them to realize that I am a person not in their family that is excited to see them, to talk to them, and to know about them." She recommends that parents follow her lead in the appointment. When you hear how tall your child is or how healthy they are, congratulate your child and get really excited. By putting a positive spin on the appointment, your child learns that going to the doctor can be exciting.

By letting them ask questions, help make a list, and have their feelings validated, you're letting them have some control over the appointment. "Tell them, 'Is it OK if I talk to the doctor for just a minute? Then we can go,'" de Freitas says. "It's not deceitful to give them what they want in their imagination. You're just letting them think they are the ones in control and call the shots here."

de Freitas is adamant that a child should get some kind of reward after an appointment. "We all get rewards, even adults. We go to work and what do we get? A paycheck," she says. "So you should always have some kind of reward for your child. Make it something special, not a treat they get every day, and they'll connect that positive, fun thing to a doctor visit."

Bragging on your child can make them realize that their doctor visits aren't always so bad. Brag on them to your partner when you get home or even the person working at the ice cream shop you take them to for their reward. "Brag about how brave your child was, how tall they were, and how the doctor said they were so healthy," de Freitas says.

When you think of a doctor visit as a way to help your child feel good about themselves, it can make it a little easier to handle. "A doctor visit is a time to let your child know how much you appreciate them," de Freitas says. You're learning about how big they're getting, how healthy they are, and how smart they are. When you focus on those results, your kid will start to feel happy about visits because they know they're going to hear how great they are and how proud everyone is of them.