Christmas

elf on the shelf in mini marshmallow bath with two barbies as an NSFW elf on the shelf idea for adul...
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31 NSFW Elf On The Shelf Ideas For Adults

Just don’t let the kids see.

by Kinsey Gidick and Kirsten Nunez
Updated: 
Originally Published: 

Once the Elf on the Shelf starts making an appearance, you know the holiday season is in full force. But when you need a break from the cutesy set ups, it may be time to brainstorm Elf on the Shelf ideas for adults.

This is perfect for those nights when you just need a good laugh in the midst of the holiday stress. It also works if your kids are fast asleep and you just need a moment for some grown-up humor. (After all, you will want to make sure the little ones don’t sneak a peek at these adult Elf on the Shelf ideas — but if you do need ideas to keep them entertained, there are plenty mischievous Elf ideas to go around). They aren’t exactly the definition of kid-friendly; many of these Elf on the Shelf ideas for adults are even worthy of a “NSFW” warning.

But first, a little history. The Elf on the Shelf tradition was created by Carol Aebersold and Chanda Bell. It features a charming scout elf from the North Pole who lets Santa know which kids are being naughty or nice. The concept also involves setting up the elf in mischievous poses around the house, waiting to surprise the children.

Although it's a kids’ tradition, the internet proves that grown-ups have figured out to get a good chuckle out of it. Don’t believe us? Check out these adult Elf on the Shelf ideas to keep grown-ups entertained all month long.

1A little after-Christmas alone time

If you hear a faint buzzing coming from your elf’s room, no you don’t.

2Elves need romance too

Nothing like a steamy bath to warm up after a day in the cold winter weather.

3Pumped and ready to make some Christmas magic

Nope, that’s not a portal to the North Pole. Look closely and you’ll be just as pumped for Christmas as your Elf.

4The after-Christmas party

Slow down on the egg nog, Elf. You can’t be hungover for the big night!

5All I want for Christmas is bondage

See if the reindeer have any rope you could borrow.

6Cam elves

Looks like your Elf is trying to savor the Christmas spirit in a more PG-13 way. Make sure the kiddos don’t get their hands on that camcorder.

7Mr. Claus will see you now

Maybe your Elf will bring it’s new skills back to their side-elf in the North Pole. Hey, elves can have personal lives too!

8Fifty shades of red and green

I’m sure Christian Grey would be on board for some Christmasy role play. A little Santa Claus and naughty elf action?

9Need a chaser with that?

After making presents for millions of children around the world, your elf just needed to drink the Christmas cheer away.

10Caught red-handed

I’m sure Santa would be quick to leave this elf without a job after this naughty behavior.

11Barbie’s a bad influence

This scene looks a lot like a frat party from my college days, except I was the elf in this situation. Those were the days...

12North Pole privacy

Looks like someone needs a new toothbrush...

13Elves on Tinder

It seems that everyone is giving online dating a try, even Santa’s helpers.

14Fa-la-la-la-HELP

Someone call the North Pole Fire Department.

15A Christmas crime scene

Cue the Law & Order: SVU theme song, but add some jingle bells for a Christmas flair.

16An NC-17 elf

When you search “Elf Porn” on PornHub, apparently this is what you get.

17Pounding the keys

Perhaps these two elves are just enjoying the sounds of the season with a cheerful musical interlude. Then again, perhaps they’re not and need to take this tune somewhere private. You be the judge. Either way, it sounds like trouble.

18Nob nog

Now Elfie, you know that’s not in the recipe for eggnog. No one is going to want to take a sip of your bowl of punch with Elf on the Shelf around, especially after he’s had a few glasses and forgets how to find the loo.

19A bad case of suck & blow

Yikes, this looks worse than an episode of To Catch a Smuggler. Kids, don’t do drugs. And parents, don’t let your elf do drugs either.

20Wrecking ball elf

Miley Cyrus has nothing on a nacked Elfie getting freaking on a wrecking ball. Once again, Britain’s Poundland variety store can be blamed for this awful creative interpretation of a pop hit. No word on how they got Elf on the Shelf to look like this either.

21Criminal Minds Elf on the Shelf

Oh god, this doesn’t look good for Barbie. But Elf on the Shelf better come up with a good alibi and fast. Those ketchup, er, blood stains aren’t going to wash themselves out. Looks like he’s facing 25 years to life.

22A cheeky Christmas pun

This elf has a nutty agenda.

23Hey Santa, wanna play?

Spice up your holiday parties with a round of strip poker. This elf swears it’ll liven up any mood.

24Jack Frost nippin’ at... something other than your nose

So apparently, this elf is a boobs guy.

25An international elf

The Christmas cheer expands far beyond the North Pole coordinates. Apparently all the way to Scottish borders.

26Elf evacuation

In answer to your kids’ question, “Mommy where do elves come from?” Well, here’s an answer. Hat tip to OB-GYN Dr. Jennifer Gunter for coming up with this anatomically correct delivery of the holiday’s most timeless toy.

27Hot tub ladies

Clearly, Barbie and her friend wanted in on the fun. They sure look cozy, don't they?

28What's for dinner?

Christmas cannibalism at its finest.

29Secret toys

Because adults need toys, too.

30Merry mug shot

Santa isn't going to be happy about this one.

31Jolly vibrations

Well, this elf is clearly ready to party.

Grossed out or cracked up, you might need a little Elf on the Shelf humor to get you through the next few weeks before the holidays. These most definitely won’t be the family-friendly Elf on the Shelf ideas you need for surprising your kids during the holiday season, but these ideas will certainly break up the Christmas chaos with some adults-only fun. The holiday season is definitely not just for kids.

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