Being honest is a must in relationships, but it goes beyond effective communication and being true to your beliefs. And that honesty also extends to sex. You shouldn't have to tell outright lies or fake every orgasm — hiding your desires or not telling your partner what you really love about sex can really affect your intimacy. That's why it's so important to talk to your SO and ask questions to make your sex life better.
There doesn't have to be an issue or problem with your sex life to warrant talking about it with your SO. Sometimes your desires or fantasies get lost in your sex life. Maybe you're embarrassed that you prefer to orgasm from oral instead of intercourse. Maybe you're nervous to say that your favorite place to be touched is your legs because that's not the norm. Whatever the reason, people are often too worried about messing up the good sex to talk about some of the things they'd like to try, like to do, or like to see.
But when you're in a healthy, committed relationship and sex is part of your intimacy, it's worth it for couples to ask these 19 questions. They can offer insight into what turns your partner on, help you understand why they favor a certain position, and make you feel even more confident and sexier in the sack. You don't have to completely change your sex life or the things you already enjoy, but if you can make it even better for you and your partner, then why not?
1What's Your Favorite Position?
Sounds fairly simple, but the answer may be surprising. Your partner may prefer doggy style, but never initiates it because you don't seem into it. You definitely don't have to put yourself in a position you don't like, but knowing your partner's favorite move (and why they love it so much) can make you more interested to try it, too.
Check Out: The Little Black Book of Sex Positions, $15, Amazon
2Does Having Sex In A Public Pace Turn You On?
I feel like someone falls into two camps with this question — they either get really turned on by sex in a public place or it is the ultimate mood-killer. If you're hoping to spice up your sex life and add in some adventure, it's an important question to ask your partner.
3What Part Of My Body Turns You On The Most?
Feeling sexy and confident in the bedroom is just as vital to you getting off as it is to pleasing your partner. So when you know which part of your body turns them on the most, it can make you feel incredibly hot and empowered. You can also then choose positions where your SO gets the best view of their favorite asset of yours, and make them even more turned on by you.
4Where's Your Favorite Place To Be Touched?
Of course you know places to touch to get your partner in the mood, but they may love when you stroke their back during sex, or when you kiss down their stomach.
5Do You Have A Fantasy You Want To Try?
The answer to this question doesn't mean you have to make the fantasy happen, but it's a good way to learn what your partner is into and their secret desires. It could be something as simple as having sex in the backseat of a car, but the answer might even be one you've considered.
Try: Sex Talk: Uncensored Exercises for Exploring What Really Turns You On, $15, Amazon
6Do You Prefer To Be On Top?
For the record, I don't think a person has to be into dominating someone just because they like being on top. For your partner, that may be the best way to get off or they may prefer being on the bottom and letting you take the control.
7Do You Think Masturbation Is Sexy?
If the idea of watching you touch yourself revs your SO up, then it's something worth adding into your foreplay routine. They can watch and touch themselves, they can assist you by playing with your breasts, or they can simply learn what you like and what gets you off and incorporate it when they're making you cum.
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8Are You Interested In Role Play?
You just thought your sex life was hot, but then you learn that your partner loves the idea of the two of you pretending you don't know each other in a bar and "hooking up" later. Role play can be really sexy and introduce a whole new dynamic to your sex life.
Check Out: 131 Sex Games & Erotic Role Plays for Couples, $9, Amazon
9What Makes Sex Feel Boring To You?
Your SO might say that the sex never feels boring, but if it does, they might have a very different reason than you do. Maybe the same position gets stale to them, or they want to change up locations. I know that only having sex in bed at bedtime, can get pretty routine and boring for a lot of people, so it's worth asking your partner just to keep things fresh.
10Do You Like Quickies?
Because if they do, you can totally make those happen more.
11What's Your Favorite Way To Get In The Mood?
Sending sexy pictures while they're at work? Stroking their thigh at dinner? Watching you walk around the house in nothing but lingerie? Sex doesn't have to start from actually initiating sex. Sometimes these fun games are the best kind of foreplay and can drive your SO crazy.
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12What Turns You On?
It could be porn or it could be a certain song on the radio that makes your partner want to throw you down on the bed. But no matter what it is, it's a nice thing to have in your arsenal when you're ready to do the deed with them.
13Do You Like Dirty Talk?
Some people are really into it and some people are totally turned off by it. But if your SO says they're into it, be prepared for sex to get a whole lot more fun once you've spent all day detailing what you're going to do to each other.
Check Out: Dirty Talk: How to Talk Dirty to Get You Both in the Mood for Sex, $11, Amazon
14Would You Prefer To Be Blindfolded Or To Blindfold Me?
Now this is a question that may prove which one of you is more dominant, but not necessarily. Your partner may like both scenarios, but if their answer is the same is yours, it can also lead to some new experiences in the bedroom.
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15Do You Like To Undress Me?
Or does your partner prefer to watch you strip for them?
16How Does It Make You Feel When I Orgasm?
Does your partner gain confidence when you cum? Or is it relief that the pressure is off? Knowing their reaction can also help you relax for an orgasm, especially if they say they're just happy they made you cum.
17Do You Like Being Surprised During Sex?
This question is huge. If you're looking to try something new on your partner, you need to know how they feel about being surprised. Depending on their answer, you may need to give them a heads up about a new move you want to try or a new technique to make sex better.
18What's Your Favorite Way To Get Off?
Oral? Intercourse? A good old-fashioned hand job? Your partner may have very different ideas than you on their favorite way to orgasm, but it can explain why certain positions are their favorite or why they always want to end with oral sex.
19What's Your Favorite Thing About Sex?
It's a broad question, but it's that way for a reason. Their favorite part may be post-coitus cuddling or spending the whole time looking at your body. No matter their answer, it can make your sex life even more enjoyable by focusing some attention on their favorite things.
