Entertainment
Amy Schumer's Jokes About Pregnancy Will Leave You ROFL
Amy Schumer is pregnant in her new comedy special, Growing, which premieres on Netflix Mar. 19. She opens up about how her life has changed in recent years, and without giving up one ounce of her signature comedic style, she tackles marriage, pregnancy, and motherhood in a way that all moms could relate. If you’re in for a laugh, here are some of Amy Schumer’s funniest jokes about pregnancy from the special.
Schumer (who is pregnant with her first child) has been dealing with complications from hyperemesis gravidarum, a pregnancy condition that causes severe nausea and vomiting. In an Instagram post from February, she shared details of her symptoms and explained why she needed to cancel the rest of her comedy tour. “Due to complications from hyperemesis I am not cleared to fly for the next couple weeks," Schumer wrote. "The baby and I are healthy and everything looks good. But I am in my third trimester and I am still nauseous all the time and vomiting. I vomit mostly every time I ride in a car even for five minutes. I have a pretty good attitude about it and some days I feel good for a couple of hours, but mostly it sucks."
In her comedy special, Schumer hilariously jokes about the woes of pregnancy, including the often unrealistic expectations society has for pregnant women. Growing is definitely worth a watch, but if you’re looking for a little preview, here are some of Schumer’s best pregnancy jokes.
1On Showing
Schumer is always open about her body, and in the special she jokes about how the paparazzi didn’t notice she was pregnant until much later. “Usually, when someone in the public eye gets pregnant, there’s a couple months where there’s rumors about them,” she joked. “There’s some, like, ‘Oop, bump alert,’ right? I was well into my second trimester. Not one f—ing rumor about me, nothing.” She goes on and says that once people knew about her pregnancy, they questioned if she was showing, or if she had just taken “her Spanx off.”
2On Cupping The Bump
Schumer questions the unsaid rules of pregnancy, and wonders where the rule of cupping the bump comes from. “Where is it written that when you’re pregnant you have to cup your little bump in every picture?” says Schumer as she cups her belly. “It’s so obnoxious guys. Every picture.” She admits that she’s given in to the belly cupping tradition, but she’ll be doing it for the rest of her life, even when she’s 90, with a cigarette dangling from her mouth. Schumer goes on to say that she cups her “bump” lower, in the area that got her “in trouble in the first place.”
3On Questions
“What are you having,” is the question Schumer says she’s asked most often, to which her hilarious response is “Hemorrhoids.” She adds that when she’s asked what she’s craving over and over again, she eventually yells, “Cock!” and then sweetly goes back to cupping and rubbing her belly, softly saying, “Just me and my angel.”
4The Pregnancy Lie
Most people talk about pregnancy like it’s a fairytale, and Schumer hilariously hones in on the farce. “I didn’t know that being pregnant could be really hard,” she says. “I didn’t know that because you b—tches all lie about it.” She points out how in the movies pregnancy is depicted by a woman throwing up once “and then in the next scene she’s in overalls painting a barn.”
5How Pregnancy Doesn’t Change You
Schumer notes how some women “start to act really precious” and saint-like when they are pregnant, but that pregnancy doesn’t really change who you are. “You don’t stop being you,” she jokes. “You don’t stop working...or drinking.”
Every woman who’s been pregnant can relate to Schumer on some level. After having two kids myself, I know that pregnancy can be ugly and painful, and women are expected to deal with everything without complaint. Schumer’s take is not only funny, it’s a reminder that women can still be productive, independent, and fascinating outside of their pregnancy.
Growing premieres on Tuesday, Mar. 19 on Netflix.
