I hated being pregnant. There, I said it and it feels wonderful to get off my chest. I've experienced two complete pregnancies, each one it's own form of fiery hell. Between the morning (read: all day) sickness, mandatory bed rest, swollen everything, and heart burn that would make a grown-ass man cower, I'm beyond happy to be past all that. Admittedly, however, I do miss the things you can only get away with when you're pregnant, because apparently it's not OK to cut the the front of the bathroom line otherwise. Who knew?
When I first thought of pregnancy, before it happened, my immediate response was to cower in the face of all the sacrifices I'd have to make and how much would change (for better or worse). It never occurred to me all the wonderfully amazing things I'd be delighted by (and get away with). I became a walking, talking special circumstance, not swayed by what was deemed "publicly acceptable" because I was pregnant. I mean, you can't tell a pregnant woman she can't have a third piece of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. It's just not a thing.
By the time I had a 5-year-old daughter and was pregnant with my son, I was too tired to pretend I didn't know the way it worked and actually looked forward to all the stuff I'd be able to do as a pregnant woman. Let's face it, aside from all the discomfort, pregnancy is a pretty solid time to get your way. Need a new laptop? How about a house cleaning? Done and done, but only because you're pregnant. Oh, what a time to be alive!
You Can Eat All The Things
One the best parts of pregnancy is (of course) the food. When the continuous nausea finally let up, I had zero regrets in regards to what I ate. Sure, I paid attention to my health and tried to care for my body and baby the best I knew how, but it was a glorious time for indulgence; a time to do away with calorie counting and dieting; a time for whatever the hell I felt like eating at any time I wanted.
I still remember staying up past midnight as a storm passed through, shoving handfuls of mixed nuts into my mouth. I wouldn't do that now, but then? Hell yes.
You Can Cry As Much As You Want
The pregnancy hormones will do whatever they wish, and they don't need your permission. They'll probably wreak havoc and they aren't sorry about it. If I went through the roller coaster of emotions now, not pregnant, my partner would be very concerned with my mental health and probably ask me to reach out to my therapist.
I'm more likely to get a free pass when I'm pregnant, because hormones.
You Can Rest (Because The Baby Needs It)
There are lots of daily chores and errands I don't feel like doing most days, especially now that I have two demanding children. When I was pregnant, I could get away with lying down for the sake of "the baby's health" if I was tired. In fact, I could lay in bed all day and no one would think it was weird. To do so now would make me lazy or disinterested and I'd have to suck it up and get things done, regardless of how I feel about it.
You Can Wear The Stretchiest Clothes
One of the things I miss most about pregnancy is seriously all the stretchy waist bands. With a growing belly and expanding thighs, it was completely acceptable for me to go out in public wearing sweats (or even pajamas). I never really had to get dressed, unless I felt like it, and it was wonderful.
Now, I'm confined to jeans and other restrictive clothing, longing for the days of long, free-flowing dresses and anything I didn't have to suck in my stomach for. Maternity clothes were the best clothes.
You Can Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind
During pregnancy, I may say some things or have an opinion on a person, place, or thing, then change my mind two minutes later. If I were to do it now, I'd be considered difficult or confusing, possibly sending "mixed messages." I'd have literally no excuse, other than I'm a human being and human beings are allowed to change their minds (OK, that's a pretty good excuse).
If you're with child, I say you go right ahead and change your mind all you want. You've earned it.
You Can Get Out Of Plans
If I could cancel on plans as easily as I did when pregnant, I'd have it made. Seriously, though. When you're carrying a child, people treat you as the delicate state they tend to think you're in (even if you're feeling fine). Annoying office party or other child's school thing you really don't want to attend? It's cool because you a) are tired, b) have been ordered to bed rest, and/or c) you don't feel like it. That excuse works while pregnant but now, "I don't feel like it" isn't good enough to miss my daughter's long, weird Christmas play (oh, how I wish it did).
You Can Get Help With Whatever You Need
I'm a mother of two who works from home. No one helps me except my partner and, even then, his work schedule has him gone long days and into the night. I couldn't get anyone to help me right now, even if I shouted from the street corner. Pregnant? I had so many offers of help, I sometimes turned them away. The grass is always greener, I guess.
Those nine months will fly by before you know it, so if the opportunities arise for you to get away with a little more than usual, do it. If you don't, I promise you'll look back on those days wishing you had.
