Life
8 Terrible Things About Labor And Delivery That Are Funny When You Look Back At Them
I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’m so, so glad to be on the other end of labor and delivery. I know there are women out there who love giving birth, but I'm not one of them. I love the end result, for sure, but the actual experience was not my favorite. That said, there are some funny things about labor that I can definitely appreciate, now that I've experienced it and it's behind me and nostalgia has done its dirty work.
I'd argue that no one likes being in pain, especially the excruciating pain associated with labor and delivery. Even if you've mastered breathing techniques or perfected hypnobirthing or made the choice to have a much-needed epidural, there is pain and discomfort associated with bringing another human being into the world and, you know, that's not the most fun. You're also vulnerable and, especially if you're a new mom, even a little scared and the emotional flood that will inevitably befall you can be nothing short of exhausting.
However, if you keep a sense of humor, labor and delivery can be hilarious since it's so insane. I mean, it’s the first of many intense parenting situations that are much more pleasant to look back on and laugh about than to actually experience (in my humble opinion); much like public toddler tantrums, getting poop on your clothes, and late night ER visits (actually, wait, no, that's actually never really that funny at all).
So, if you've experienced labor and delivery and, like me, didn't have the best time, consider looking back on your experience now that it's over. You might just find yourself laughing at these eight terrible-yet-hilarious parts of labor and delivery, because it's better than crying (or re-living), right?
There Is Zero Room For Modesty
I don't know about you guys, but I usually wear pants when I'm around other people, especially strangers. My labor was probably the longest I've gone without them. Ever. Add the fact that I was on full display, under bright lights, and what else can you do but laugh?
All The Random People Who Get Involved
So. Many. Lab Coats. I mean, I'm totally and completely thankful for all the professional care I had, but seeing strangers faces when I could barely see straight was a trip. Like, who are you and what are you doing with my left foot?
The Intense Pain And Pressure
Paper cuts? Stubbed toes? Being so tired from nighttime feedings that you walk into a wall? Please. Once you've given birth, everything else is a hilarious tickle.
The Nerves Leading Up To It
Before I gave birth, I definitely wasn't laughing about the idea of it. Actually, let me correct that: if I was laughing, it was that nervous laughter that you do when there's no other publicly acceptable choice, but deep down you are quivering with absolute fear. Looking back, I realize that while my anxiety about giving birth was valid and normal, it also wasn't entirely necessary. Everything turned out okay (thankfully), so when I look back now, my nerves are kind of hilarious.
The Hormones And Emotions And Feelings
I lost my mind many, many times during labor. At one point, in between contractions and pushing, I even tearfully declared that I was going to take a break. I know, what? I now understand that my determined claim was physically impossible, but still. In the moment, it was what I felt like I needed.
The Simple Joy That Clear Liquids Brought You
NOTHING HAS BEEN MORE REFRESHINGLY SATISFYING IN THE HISTORY OF TIME. I SWEAR IT.
Those Fleeting Minutes Between Contractions
I was so elated to "rest" in between contractions that I thought I could have ran a marathon, or at least a lap or two around the hospital. Thankfully, no one let me try, because that is just ridiculous. It's actually pretty funny to look back and remember how thankful I was for a minute (or less) of pain-free bliss, before it all started again.
The Fact That You Poop In Front Of People
I thought I would be absolutely horrified about (eventually) pooping in front of other humans and, you know, not in a toilet. Yeah, no one cares. It's actually pretty hilarious how no one cares. In fact, did you know that it's someone's job to clean up your poop as soon as it happens? I mean, come on, that is just straight-up hilarious.
