Life

8 Things I'd Rather Be Than The Popular Mom

by Dina Leygerman

You would think popularity contests end when you graduate from high school, but you'd be wrong. I guess some people never quite grow out of their need to be the most popular person around. I never really cared much about social status, so there are plenty of other things I'd rather be than a popular mom. To me, popularity always seemed like a lot of work. There's this feeling of always having to be on top of your game, making appearances and being present for everyone. Quite honestly, it just seems exhausting.

Kids take a lot of my energy. I already have a full-time job, two part-time jobs, and a house to run. So, trying to be popular on top of all of that is just not my priority, honestly. I see the popular moms around and they are fabulous. I'm sure their lives are exactly as fantastic as they seem on social media, complete with events and parties and galas, but my quiet life suits me just fine. The beauty of not chasing popularity is that I get to be me. I get to be the type of mom I choose to be and not the type of mom someone expects me to be.

And before you all tell me I'm "just jealous of popular moms" and that I "seem bitter," let me stop you. I was always popular among my peers, but I never really cared about it, just like I don't care about it now. Actually, now, I care even less about my social status.

A Mean Mom

I'm the mom who says "no" often, and who says things like, "I don't care if other kids are doing it, you are not doing it." Just today I refused to buy my kid a toy that, apparently, "every other kid has" because I don't play that game. I will continue being the "mean mom" and not be my kid's friend because she already has friends and she needs an actual parent.

An Independent Mom

As an independent person, I cannot force myself to rely on others for anything. Which means my group of friends is small and tight-knit. We understand we all have different lives and diverse views of the world, so we respect each other's time and energy. We don't expect each other to drop everything and come to our rescue, although we know we would if we needed to. I like knowing that I am an independent parent and one who makes my own schedules and my own plans as I see fit, and that I don't have to align my life to someone else's just to be popular.

A Lazy Mom

I am without a doubt a lazy mom. My laziness creates independent kids. Sure, I spend most of my life now making sure my children are safe, fed, dressed, and nurtured, but I am not running around like a crazed, headless chicken trying to plan 50 activities for my children each weekend. In order to be popular I would have to give up some of my lazy, and I am just not willing to do that.

An Inclusive Mom

This may have changed since high school, but the popular girls always seemed very exclusive. I was friendly with everyone in high school and everyone now. Even moms with whom I do not particularly get along with, or those who I have nothing in common with, I am courteous and friendly. I am the person who includes everyone in girl's nights out just because I know all moms could use a night out. I refuse to be the stereotypical popular mom who excludes someone just because they are unpopular.

A Chill Mom

Overall, I'm a chill person. I guess my laziness brings out the chill in me because I often don't care about many things other people care about. Popularity isn't very chill at all, though, so I don't envy anyone who earns to be popular. I just want to hang out at home and drink wine with my friends. I don't need fabulous parties or bourgeoisie events. I'm good.

A Bad Mom

That's right. I'd rather be a bad mom. The kind of mom who goes out drinking with her girlfriends and leaves her kid at home with her partner. I'd rather be the mom who makes PTA moms gasp. And I'm sure this kind of attitude doesn't make me very popular, but I don't care, cause I'm a bad mom.

A Hot Mess Mom

I don't really need to try to be a hot mess mom, honestly. I just, well, am. I'm usually playing catch-up with my life, trying to juggle everything I've got going on. I wear pajamas at school drop-off on my days off and my hair is usually in a messy bun, but not the cute kind, the actual messy-bun kind.

A Dad

Dads just don't really care, right? Popular, not popular, they just don't give any amount of sh*t. I know my husband doesn't. He couldn't care less if he has friends or if he doesn't. He actually finds the whole social scene exhausting and I kind envy him a little for his serious nonchalant attitude towards social status.