Hi, my name is Priscilla and I enjoy taking selfies. I started taking self portraits (as we used to call them) when I was in middle and high school. I would use a regular camera and just start snapping away, whether I was with friends, at a concert, or just by myself in my own room. Now that we have those handy-dandy smartphones, I can take a selfies every hour, minute, and second of the day if I so choose. So, even though I’m a mom, I’m still taking selfies and see absolutely no reason why I should stop or apologize.
When you have children, in my experience, people tend to automatically shift their perception of you (and without knowing). You can’t be sexy anymore, you can’t dress “provocatively," and you shouldn’t do “wild” things like dye your hair bright colors or get tattooed or take vacations all by yourself. You definitely shouldn't use Tinder or smoke pot. As a result of this automatic shift in perception, society is constantly policing the hell out of moms, as though giving birth means we no longer have any agency over our own lives.
Yeah, I don’t buy it, nor will I let someone else's preconceived notions of what a mother "should be" dictate the kind of mother I actually am (or will be one day become, because we're all evolving, my friends). That’s why I still do a lot of the things I did before I became a mom, and that's definitely one of the reasons why I continue to take selfies all the time and whenever I damn well please.
Because I Don’t See Why Becoming A Mom Means I Should Stop
Like I said, there’s absolutely zero reason why becoming a mom should mean I no longer taking photos of myself. Just because I chose to procreate doesn't mean I no longer deserve attention, and it definitely doesn't mean the only time I can take a picture is when it's of my baby. Yeah, false. I still matter.
Because I Don't Want To Ask Someone To Take A Photo Of Me
If I'm being honest, I am my best photographer. I know what angles I prefer when my picture is being taken. I know exactly when the shutter is capturing my image, so I don’t blink or accidentally make a funny face. Plus, if I’m in public I don’t always want to (or can) find someone to take a picture for me. Pretty sure this is how I first started taking selfies, actually.
Because It Helps Boost My Confidence
As a mom, I'm usually busy and tried. In other words, I don’t always have a chance to put on makeup or give myself a manicure or put on something that isn't my pajamas.
However, when I’m going to take a selfie I'll usually try to put my best foot forward, so to speak. As a result, when I see pictures of myself looking good, I feel good and I remember that I can look good. It’s a positive ego boost and there’s nothing wrong with that. Haters gonna hate.
Because I Want To Remember What I Look And Feel Like
Years ago, my laptop was stolen and, along with it, thousands of photos of me and my loved ones. It was heartbreaking. As such, I like to take frequent pictures (selfies and otherwise) so that I can look back and remember my life.
Because I Like Documenting My Life As A Mom
Moms deserve a spotlight as much as anyone else.
Personally, I like taking the occasional “mom-selfie” (like when I'm playing with my kid or when he's on my lap as I enjoy my morning cup of coffee) to document the motherly aspects of my life. I also like to share those photos, so people can get a first-hand glimpse of what it’s like.
Because I Like Sharing Certain Moments With Others
I also like documenting the aspects of my life that have nothing to do with motherhood. Going on a trip to a faraway city, playing tourist in my town, finding cool graffiti, buying a new car, or whatever else I happen to be doing that doesn't involve caring for another human being.
I like to document and I like to share. I also like to share if I bought or was given something that I think others might like. A delicious meal at a new restaurant, or a beautiful necklace, or a really cool book? Yeah, I’ll often pose with them all, and don’t see anything wrong with that.
Because I Like Keeping Myself Accountable
Certain selfies are good for accountability, like if you’re working toward fitness goals, for example. Lots of folks take “gym selfies” because it helps motivate them to continue hitting the gym. I do yoga, and I like to take selfies now and again during a practice. It helps me study my form later and see how I’ve improved.
Because I Want To Connect With My Family
I recently moved to Denver and have zero family and nearly zero friends out here. As such, I rely on things like video chats and selfies to connect with family members. I frequently send selfies (usually with my son) to my parents, and now they request them. I also get selfies from them in return. It’s our way of communicating and connecting and saying, “Hey, we’re still here and we love you!”
Because They're Great For Building A Community
In recent years, a now-friend named Veronica Arreola created a hashtag called #365feministselfie. It was a way for feminists to take empowering selfies of themselves and share them with the world. Through the hashtag, many feminists have found one another, connected, and made friends. I am in several groups that have spun off from the original hashtag and many of these women have become trusted confidants and folks who make the internet a happier space for me.
Thanks to selfies, I’ve found a ton of support, friendship, and love.
