There are countless articles helping you identify if your partner is cheating, has stopped loving you, or if your marriage is over. What you don't see often are stories about how to tell if your partner is still truly, madly, and deeply head over heels for you. It's easy to take someone for granted, and maybe even look for faults in your relationship, if you are regularly exposed to story upon story of infidelity and heartbreak. You might spend so much time taking "is he cheating" quizzes that you completely overlook the signs that your spouse only has eyes for you.
Maybe you are so accustomed to your partner's loving ways that you don't realize how special they truly are. Or maybe you have a little nagging voice inside of you telling you that your love story is too good to be true. Don't fall into that trap! Questioning a happy relationship is the quickest way to introduce doubt and bring it all tumbling down.
Even if your partner isn't all about the grand gestures, it doesn't mean that you still aren't their one and only. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for the signs that your spouse wants no else but you.
1They Call To Check In
"Couples build their love for each other not necessarily on the ethereal, but on the practical supports that keep communication routes open," Psychology Today noted. When spouses call or text throughout the day, it shows that you are forefront on their mind. A partner who is still in love, wants to reach out and have regular contact when they can't be there with your in person. It can be as simple as a heart emoji or a chat during their lunch break.
2They Still Say "I Love You"
Orthodox Jewish rabbi, author, and public speaker, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach told Oprah.com, "if you're in love, then talk about it. The more you say it, the more you feel it." If your long-term partner still says it on the regular, you can be confident that it is because they still feel it.
3They Praise You To Others
When your spouse praises you to others, it is because they value you, appreciate you, and want others to feel the same way. "Knowing that your spouse is saying good things about you when you're not around is almost as important as hearing these good things directly," Psychologists and motivational speakers Les and Leslie Parrott tell Thriving Family. "In fact, in some ways, it's even more meaningful because these words of admiration are given without any assurance that you will ever hear them."
4They Do Little Things To Make Your Life Easier
Does your spouse fill up your gas tank on Sunday? Does he turn on the coffee pot while you're getting ready for work? Does she pack the kids' lunches so that you have one less thing to do? Stan Tatkin, a psychologist and author of Wired for Love, tells Psychotherapy.net that spouses who help each other avoid "irritation triggers," or the things that drives us crazy like having to stop for gas on a Monday morning during rush hour.
Wired for Love, $11, Amazon
5They Don't Notice Those Extra 5 Pounds
Some people think that a partner who doesn't notice changes in your appearance must not love you. I believe that it's the opposite. When you are in love you stop seeing your spouse as a person with a particular body style or haircut. You see them from the inside out--as the mother or father of your children, as your best friend and your forever teammate. The beauty of their insides overshadows those extra five pounds.
6They Still Want To Have Sex
Although sex and love are not necessarily interchangeable, a partner who still have to regularly have sex with you is almost certainly still in love. Today.com reports that infrequent sex is a sign of infidelity or a warning sign prior to infidelity. If you spouse still wants to get it on, you know you have a keeper.
7They Always Take Your Side
A spouse who is still in love will always take your side against others. If your mother-in-law criticizes your parenting, your partner is always quick to shut her down. "Having your back does mean that your spouse will not allow your friends, family, or even your own mother to disrespect you," according to Babble. "When your spouse has your back, it means they will defend you and will not allow others to harm you."
8You Always Come First
A partner who is still head over heels for you will put you first. If your spouse declines invitations to happy hours, or guy's only trips because he would rather spend his free time with you, he's still in love. If he stops to consider your feelings before making big decisions, you're still the apple of his eye.
9You Don't Feel Jealous
If you don't feel jealous, it's likely because your spouse makes you feel confident and loved. A 2005 study published by the American Psychological Association found people with low self-esteem were more vulnerable to jealousy. When your spouse gives your no reason to feel insecure, personally or in your relationship, you are less likely to succumb to jealousy.
