9 Ways You Can Help A Mom Who Is 'Crying It Out'

I had some friends who also practiced the "cry it out" method, and found success with it, but I had others who gave it a shot and felt like it just wasn't for them. While some parents I've met have made sour faces about us letting our sons self soothe, most of my friends never questioned our decision. If you've got a friend trying it out, don't question her. Let her figure out what does and doesn't work for her and her children, on her own.

This rule could be applied to every aspect of parenting, or, you know, just life in general. Disagreeing with someone's parental decisions doesn't mean that they're wrong, or that you're right. It just means that you have different opinions, and that's fine. Rude comments, however, aren't fine.

The process of getting a baby to sleep through the night can be frustrating for anyone, no matter the method they choose. For us, our first son was a breeze. We had a few frustrating nights in the beginning, but he was putting himself to sleep peacefully within a week of us sleep training.

Our second, however, was an entirely different story. It took weeks of constant attention and caution while attempting to sleep train him. There was even a point when I wanted to quit. I remember sitting at the top of our stairs, outside our youngest son's door, wanting to beat my head against the wall as I listened to him cry, because it felt like no matter how hard we tried, he wouldn't fall asleep. He just got angrier and angrier with each attempt. I would text my friends and family, swearing to never have kids again. I'd say things like, "This one is going to be the end of my sanity" and, "I'm going to develop a drinking problem if he doesn't sleep," all because the process was so frustrating.

If your friend is struggling with getting her child to self soothe, just let her vent, because more often than not, it's not an easy process. My second son got the hang of it after about a month, but it seemed a lot longer than that.

If you've got different ideas about how a child should sleep, that's perfectly fine. We don't all have to raise our children the same way, even when we want the same things. If you feel like your friend is doing it all wrong, don't push your own methods on her in a condescending manner. Advice is fine, but finger pointing is not.

Telling a mom practicing the "cry it out" method that she's "torturing" her baby is literally the worst thing you could ever say to her. No mother in her right mind is willfully "torturing" her baby. Babies cry all the time, so why does allowing one to cry at bed time suddenly become torture?

Trust me, no one enjoys listening to their baby cry. Sometimes momentary sadness is necessary though, for the greater good of the entire family's sleeping habits. If hearing a crying or whining baby makes you sad, cover your ears while your friend is letting her child self soothe, but definitely don't make her feel like she's somehow neglecting her child.

Really, just don't judge any parent who has differing opinions than that of your own. We all want what's best for our kids, but we all take different roads to get there. Judging one another causes tension and feuds and guilt that are all completely unnecessary in every parent's life.

Offering any mother your support does more good than you could possibly imagine. Getting kids to sleep on their own is frustrating no matter how you go about it, but knowing that you've got friends who are willing to help, even in the simplest way, is a major deal.

When my second son would never sleep, I remember texting a friend one long rant on procreation, and she responded with, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Just reading those words made me feel better. Someone just offering to help almost always gives the person in need of said help, a sense of relief. You might not agree with or understand your friend's parenting methods, but asking if there's anything you can do to help her makes her feel like you've got her back despite your differences, and that makes a world of difference in an exhausted mother's life.

When all else fails, just bring wine. It's the international symbol of solidarity, and it's safe to say that every mom on the planet could benefit from a glass (or two) every now and then.