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Amy Schumer's Quotes On Becoming A Mom & Pregnancy Are As Real As It Gets

by Caitlyn Hitt

Amy Schumer is about to welcome her first child into the world, and after a long hard pregnancy she's so ready. The 37-year-old comedian has been open about her pregnancy struggles throughout, detailing her battle with hyperemisis gravidarum and more on Instagram. She's also been open about how much motherhood means to her. And Amy Schumer's quotes on becoming a mom and her pregnancy struggles are so relatable and hilarious, you'll be trying to figure out how to become her BFF.

Schumer's talk of motherhood started well before she ever announced that she was expecting this past October. In April, two months after she secretly married husband Chris Fischer, Schumer appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, during which she revealed that she "never wanted kids." But then she added, "And then I saw myself as a baby on your show and I thought, 'Who am I to deprive the world of such a beautiful baby? I think we're going to do it, just only use my genetics."

The I Feel Pretty star announced that she was expecting in October 2018, according to The Guardian. She made the announcement by photoshopping her and Fischer's heads on the bodies of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who had also recently announced that they were expecting. In a comment issued to the Los Angeles Times about her pregnancy, she joked, "Chris and I are thrilled and almost positive he's the father. I look forward to competing with Markle every step of the way."

Schumer is due to give birth any day now, and finally appears to be feeling better. Before she welcomes her baby into the world, here are some of the realest and funniest things she's said about motherhood so far.

When She Revealed Her Battle With Hyperemisis Gravidarum

Schumer has been open an honest about how difficult her pregnancy has been from the very beginning. Despite her struggles, namely having to deal with hyperemesis gravidarum, Schumer has remained grateful to be pregnant.

When she first revealed that she had the condition, characterized by lasting morning sickness, she noted in an Instagram post that she was "Very lucky to be pregnant," adding, "but this is some bulls***!"

When She Decided To Maybe Alter Her Comedy Style...

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Schumer is known for her crass and honest brand of comedy, but she may be done with all of that now that she's going to be a mom.

In an interview with E! News, the comic joked she was "done saying dirty things," noting that it was more about growing up and evolving than motherhood alone:

That's right, I'm done saying dirty things. It's just not who I am anymore. I know it's pretty weird to hear that from me, but get used to it because I'm basically already kind of an amazing mom.

Schumer went on to tell E! News she was elated to "squeeze the sweetest, giant skull out of my tiny precious vag, and most likely take a dump in front of five doctors and my lover, I just want to steer clear of sharing overly personal details."

When She Joked About Why She Hoped Her Baby Was A Girl

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The comedian joked in her ew Netflix comedy special Growing that she hopes her baby's a girl, "because it's such a scary time for men," according to Entertainment Tonight. The joke is, of course, a nod to the #MeToo movement, which hit the comedy world especially hard.

Really though, Schumer doesn't care what sex her baby is, as she previously posted an Instagram video in which she pretended to announce the gender of her baby and then announced her Netflix special Growing instead. In the video, she joked that she "wanted to announce was the baby's gender," before saying, "We're so excited to say that....we don't care what the gender is. However the baby identifies is fine."

That Time She Stripped Down For Her Maternity Photo Shoot

Schumer's maternity photos were featured in The New York Times, along with an interview from the expectant mother. In it, she got real about how pregnancy altered her body image. "As someone who has been told a million times they are fat and ugly, it does not matter!" she said.

She also spoke with the Times about experiencing true joy, admitting that she thought being famous would be fulfilling, but it fell short of her expectations. Schumer added in the interview that she was hopeful that having a baby would help her "experience that."

"Young me thought this would bring some other level of joy," she said at the time. "I think I will experience that with a baby. But other than that, it doesn't exist."

When She Got Candid About Pregnancy In 'Growing'

In her latest Netflix special, Growing, Schumer spoke about the many things surrounding pregnancy and motherhood that, well, annoy her. She joked during the special that she doesn't like when women constantly cradle their bumps, calling it "obnoxious." Schumer also joked she's not a fan of women "who start to act really precious" when they're pregnant. She quipped, "You don't stop being you, you know? You don't stop working... or drinking."

As for people who enjoyed their pregnancies, Schumer jokingly wished ill upon them during the special: "If you had a good pregnancy, like, if you're someone who enjoyed being pregnant. I just hope your car flips over... That's what I wish for you."

Schumer held nothing back, clearly.

When She Embraced How "Strong And Beautiful" She Felt

Nearing the end of her pregnancy, Schumer apparently finally started to get some relief from her health issues and really embraced the beauty and strength of being pregnant. Ahead of her due date, the comic shared a photo of herself wearing nothing but a bra and underwear, revealing that she was "Felling strong and beautiful." She added, "#didntpuke," which is a big deal considering how sick she's been throughout her pregnancy.

Schumer is clearly ready to get this pregnancy thing over with, and fans can't wait to meet her baby. She's had a lot of time to prepare for the big moment, and her changed attitude and health are sure signs she's ready to rock this whole motherhood thing.