Have you ever wondered how much it costs to feed a family of four for a year? Have you also wondered what that same family of four would do for food if they managed to survive a doomsday-level event? No? Well, don't worry about it, one company has you covered. In fact, Costco sells apocalypse survival kits, and now I'm mildly worried they know something the rest of the world doesn't.
It seems that a few years back, Costco decided to branch out beyond reasonably priced massive boxes of crackers to dip a toe into the doomsday game. Perhaps because it tends to be the store people typically turn to in times of need, whether it's during a hurricane or an impromptu dinner party for 12. But these apocalypse survival kits, according to a recent report by Business Insider, are something else entirely. These kits won't just feed a fussy party of 12 of your spouse's work friends, but rather your entire family for an entire year.
These kits, which are put together by the brand Nutristore, are comprised of everything a family needs to survive a potential zombie apocalypse or something more believable. Full of grains, dairy, fruits, vegetables, and proteins, you can take comfort in knowing that your family won't starve. If you can afford it, at any rate.
The kits contain 6,200 servings of food, which would provide a family of four with a diet of 1,350 calories a day. But they don't come cheaply, unfortunately; prices range from $1,000 all the way up to $6,000, but that's the price you pay for a year's supply of delicious egg noodles, quick oats, cornmeal, elbow macaroni, freeze-dried banana slices and blueberries, potato chunks, and freeze-dried carrots.
The kits also come with salt and sugar, because nobody wants to survive the apocalypse like a tasteless cretin. Especially a zombie apocalypse, which is the one thing that came to mind for the hilarious jokesters of Twitter (and also me).
I'm now considering trying out the $1,000 kit for my family, just to see if we can actually survive on less than $20 per week, obviously wine not included.
In all seriousness, these kits could absolutely come in handy for non-zombie apocalypse situations as well. People who were trying to survive the recent spate of hurricanes that swept across Texas, Puerto Rico, and Florida could have been well-served by these handy kits, as noted by a Costco representative who told The Detroit Free Press back in October:
The idea came about making a great starter kit for a family who wanted to prepare for any kind of disaster. This is a great value with shipping included.
Now if you're worried that your friendly neighbors will turn into aggressive looters in the event of an apocalypse, zombie or otherwise, fear not: the kits are delivered to your home in gigantic (they weigh approximately 1,800 pounds), discreet boxes that will simply make your neighbors suspicious. But hey, at least they won't know that your home is well-stocked with a year's worth of delicious canned goods.
The reviews for these kits are in, and they're looking pretty good as well. If you're looking at investing in a mid-range doomsday food kit for $4,000, the Thrive brand seems to be popular with customers, not that people have necessarily tried the products, as one reviewer noted on the company's website:
As the product says, it is for EMERGENCY. So I don't know how it tastes and, quite frankly, I hope I never have to.
As President Donald Trump prepares to sit down with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un in the near future, some people might have the end of the world on their minds. So it's nice to know you can just have your prep kit delivered to your door. You know. Just in case.
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