How To Know If You Popped Your Cherry? Experts Weigh In

If you experience a tear or a rip of your hymen, chances are you’re going to bleed. But unlike blood you’d see during your period, the rupture of the hymen will make you bleed differently, OB/GYN Dr. Kim Langdon, MD, tells Romper. “Bleeding after a hymen tears would be bright red rather than the darker hue of menstrual blood,” explains Dr. Langdon. “Without pressure or spontaneous clotting, the bleeding would continue to be bright red.” So if you’re bleeding (and don’t have your period), you should take a look to see what color your blood is. If it’s bright, it might mean that your hymen has torn.

By the time you’re a teen, chances are that your hymen already tore. Still, if you’re unsure, you can always take the Tampon Test. “The hymen usually breaks on its own during childhood,” says Dr. Demosthenes. “Most young women only have remnants of the hymen; occasionally we will see a young teen who can’t get her tampon in and will discover that she has part of the hymen in the way.” If your tampon glides right into place, you probably don’t have your hymen acting as a barrier to block it.

While Aunt Flo coming to town might not be fun each month, the fact that you’re getting your period is actually a very good sign. “If a woman is having a period, then her hymen is gone enough for the blood to flow out,” explains Dr. Demosthenes. “But if you have an intact hymen and begin to bleed, the blood will back up and you will present with bad pain.” Yikes. And if blood backing up into your vag weren’t scary enough, it could get worse, Dr. Langdon says. “Sometimes, an imperforate hymen can cause the blood to even build up enough to enlarge the uterus.”

“It’s obvious by exam,” says Dr. Langdon. “The hymen can be seen during the routine exam position — it can be partially intact or hymenal remnants can be seen.” Getting confirmation from your gynecologist can clear matters up quickly.

So, here’s the thing about the belief that you "pop your cherry" the first time you have sex. It’s not always true, although it sometimes might be. To be honest, it’s kind of complicated. “It is a myth that the hymen breaks the first time a person has intercourse,” says Dr. Lauren Demosthenes. See, the hymen is a springy little sucker, and while the chances are highly likely that if it hasn’t broken before you have sex that it will break during intercourse, it’s not an automatic guarantee. “Virginity cannot be determined by an exam because the hymen is stretchy and can accommodate a penis and then fall back into place,” says Dr. Langdon.

Case in point. In the study: “The little tissue that couldn’t — dispelling myths about the Hymen’s role in determining sexual history and assault,” researchers found that an intact or broken hymen wasn’t an accurate indicator of a woman’s sexual activities. They cited the hymen as “not an accurate or reliable test of a previous history of sexual activity.” While chances are penetration (or even some sex toys) can rupture your hymen, it’s not always the case. In theory, then, you might be able to have sex, and still have your hymen intact, depending on its density.

You’ve been doing a lot of strenuous activity when you suddenly feel a pinch in your lady parts. Has your hymen been disturbed? Well, there’s one way to find out. If you’re not afraid to do some digging, you can check yourself to see if it’s still there. “A woman could look with a mirror and try to insert a tampon or her finger to see what she sees,” says Dr. Demosthenes. And while you might be able to feel the hymen (or lack thereof), “it’s only possible if you know what you’re feeling for,” says Dr. Langdon.

There are a myriad of ways that you can "pop your cherry," and few, if any, actually involve intercourse. Some girls are even born without a hymen, according to that same study. Still, if you experience pain or bleeding that’s not associated with your period, you should always speak with your doctor about it.