Etiquette
What Not To Say To A Soon-To-Be Dad On Father's Day
These “jokes” fall flat.
My nephew and his wife are expecting their first son to be born in September. They are ridiculously excited and overjoyed to be welcoming a little one into the world soon, but with Father's Day around the corner, the question of whether or not my nephew should already be celebrating his fatherhood has reared its ugly little head. Without a doubt, men who are due to have a baby born within the next nine months should most definitely be celebrated on Father's Day, but there are definitely a few things you shouldn't say to a soon-to-be dad on Father's Day.
When you think of the men you know who fill fatherly roles, I'm sure you can think of hundreds of things that they do for the children and moms in their life. Soon-to-be dads are typically already helping expectant moms get everything ready for their baby's arrival. They're building cribs and adding items to registry lists, reading parenting books, giving foot rubs to that sweet pregnant mama, and more.
All of that work deserves to be celebrated even if the soon-to-be dad has yet to experience one sleepless night or diaper change — because we all know that before too long, their life will be an endless loop of early mornings, late nights, and plenty of Peppa Pig. So let's do these expectant dads a favor and give them the credit they deserve and abstain from saying anything remotely close to these phrases on Father’s Day, even in jest.
1"You're not really a dad yet.”
Yes. They. Are. [Insert eye roll here.] These men have fathered babies that are currently growing inside of a womb that will be out in the world in a matter of months, weeks, or even days depending on the timing of it all. They are spending their time and energy preparing for life with a newborn as well as their lifelong commitment to parenthood, and that deserves to be recognized on Father's Day, not questioned.
2"I hope you’re getting plenty of sleep while you can.”
This one really should go without saying for any expectant parent. Dads-to-be have enough to worry about without thinking about all of the sleep they're going to be missing out on for the next 18+ years. Plus, they may have a mama-to-be with insomnia who already keeps them up all night on late night emergency ice cream craving runs, and their sleep habits are really none of your business.
3"This is your chance to do whatever you want on Father’s Day.”
Men don't have to give up doing what they enjoy when their baby is born. If a guy who enjoys watching football on Sunday afternoon has a baby, he's probably going to love snuggling up in his recliner with his bundle of joy to cheer on his team together.
4“You’re not celebrating Father’s Day, are you?”
Don’t assume that because the baby has not arrived yet, that the expectant parents aren’t “part of the club” yet. They have every right to embrace the sentiments of fatherhood and celebrate Father’s Day in all its glory.
5"I bet you’re hoping we’ll be celebrating you with a son in your arms next year.”
Please don't assume every dad-to-be is crossing his fingers for a boy. My dad is my hero and I can tell you from personal experience that even if he had wanted a son, you would have never known it by how thrilled he is to be the dad of two girls. Most expectant dads (even those who are wishing for a specific gender) are just happy to be welcoming a baby into the world.
6“Better put in your steak order now so you get one next year.”
Don’t assume all dads-to-be are just waiting to be demanding to their pregnant partners, and this level of funny “misogyny” is just not it.
7"Should I get you a gift?”
Well, chances are if you're asking this question on Father's Day, it's too little too late. However, the fact still remains that dads-to-be should be celebrated just like any other dad on Father's Day, so a gift or card with a thoughtful message is definitely a nice sentiment.
8"Just wait until next year.”
For what exactly? To celebrate fatherhood? Dads-to-be deserve to be celebrated on Father's Day and while it might be super fun to celebrate with an actual baby in his arms, he should enjoy every moment of his journey to fatherhood — including Father's Day.
9"Are you sure you’re ready to be a dad?”
Please, do expectant dads everywhere a favor and avoid asking if he's ready for parenthood. While he may or may not actually be ready, it isn't on you to question his ability to prepare for fatherhood. When the time comes, he'll have to step up, ready or not, so asking the question is a moot point. And if you absolutely can't resist the urge to ask this question, please don't do it on a day when fathers and soon-to-be dads should be celebrated.
The point is, if you don’t have anything nice or encouraging to say on Father’s Day, just don’t say it at all. Instead, celebrate them and the lucky position they are in.
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