When my boyfriend and I first started dating, Walk The Moon's "Shut Up and Dance with Me" was constantly playing on the radio, and pretty much played whenever we were together. It didn't take long for my brain to connect that song to the butterflies I felt every time I was around him, and the feeling is still there. I can't hear that song without feeling like I did in the beginning of our relationship, and it makes me incredibly happy. No matter how great you and your partner are together, I think all of us are looking for a way to keep the relationship spark alive, right? I mean, those first few weeks of dating someone are some of the best times in a relationship. You're constantly excited to see each other, you can't get enough of their kisses, and you just feel good all the time.
Unfortunately, that feeling doesn't always last. Your relationship becomes familiar and comfortable in the best way possible, but it can take the spark out of your love life pretty quickly. It's wonderful to be with someone who doesn't mind helping you fold laundry on a Friday night, but it can also be disheartening to realize it's been weeks since you wanted to pounce on them as soon as they walked in the door or that you miss getting excited for a date night. There are a ton of ways to keep the fireworks in your relationship going, but there's one surefire way that guarantees it.
You give yourself time to miss them.
Sounds pretty simple, right? But it works. I'm a big believer in alone time in a relationship anyway, but allowing yourself the time and space to miss your SO is so important. When you think about how excited you are to see your partner in the beginning, you have to remember that seeing them wasn't as often as it is now. You go on a date Saturday night, and then you don't see them again until Thursday. You spend an entire weekend with them in bed, and then you don't meet up again for another few days. When you're constantly together and never spending time apart, it can dull the spark quickly.
Even if you live together, this plan works. Spend a night out with friends or run errands by yourself. This way, when you do finally see your partner, you can focus your attention on them. By missing your SO, you'll find that you don't want to be on your phone during a date or discussing taxes on a Saturday night. Instead, you'll miss them so much that you'll focus your attention on your partner and the quality time the two of you are having with all other thoughts vanishing. It'll feel like it did in the beginning when all you wanted was to be with them.
Because that's the amazing thing about the beginning of a relationship, right? It's new, it's exciting, and you can hardly stand to be away from them. So bring those feelings back with just a little bit of time and space and watch the spark return. (And maybe turn on a song from the beginning, too. That can help.)
