Breast milk is funny. First of all: why do we feel the need to call it "breast milk" in order to differentiate it from, say, cow's milk? Why don't we call it "human milk" or just plain old "milk" and rely on context? And why are we, as a society, so weird about it? There's no legitimate reason why we should be, which is why I asked men to describe what breast milk tastes like. Yes, partners of breastfeeding women have tried breast milk, it's not that uncommon, and talking about breast milk in such a cavalier way only works to destigmatize nursing in general. A win on all levels, my friends.
None of the men asked to share their breast milk-tasting experience were particularly put off by the question, and they all openly admitted to having had a sip or two, either on purpose from a bottle or inadvertently direct from the source. (Yes, foreplay is important, people, and in my opinion you can't let a little lactation get in the way). I was not surprised to find that many of their answers were almost identical to those I'd received from female and toddler tasters, too.
In the end, breast milk is just milk that comes from a human to sustain another human. People drink cow's milk and goat's milk rather regularly, so it shouldn't be too shocking to learn that people have tried human milk, too, including the following gentlemen:
Kyle
"Like the milk that's left after you're done with a sugary cereal. It's really sweet, obviously milky, but there's also sort of a grainy aftertaste, too."
Writer's note: This is exactly how I would describe it. Specifically I would say after you're done with Frosted Flakes. Kyle and I are friends and the fact that he answered the same way I do brings me so much joy because, well, clearly there's a reason we connected so well during freshman orientation in college. Well done, Kyle. #TeamFriendship
Jason
"Like warm, melted vanilla ice cream."
Michael
"There was an episode of Friends where a character describes it as tasting like melon juice, and it does. It's the perfect description. Eating cantaloupe is sort of awkward now. Brunch is very confusing."
"Henry"
"Very sweet almond milk. I didn't expect it to be so sweet, so it was definitely surprising the first time."
"Alan"
"A cross between milk and Vitamin Water."
Writer's Note: That sounds really gross but I feel like I get it.
Oscar
"Skim milk that hasn't gone sour but it's going to soon. It's thin and extra sweet. That makes it sound gross, but it's not."
"Rudy"
"Off-putting. I haven't gotten over the mental block that it's milk my wife makes to feed our baby and every now and then I get a mouthful of it during intimate moments. It's not really a big deal but it still feels weird."
Writer's Note: As a formerly lactating mom, I can assure you it's weird for us sometimes, too.
Dylan
"I thought it tasted weird and sort of bad until I tried infant formula. That stuff is vile. I don't know how babies drink it!"
Josh
"Sweet water."
