11 Reasons To Stop Fighting With Your Kid About Wearing A Jacket

Guys, we're talking, like, 45 to 65 degree days here, generally speaking. No one every got hypothermia from being outside for a while in 45 to 65 degree weather without a jacket. Do I recommend being outside without a jacket when it's 47 degrees? No. You're probably going to at least eventually want something warmer than a shirt, but a worst case scenario here is being a little bit chilly, which is fine.

We all have that one friend who's always freezing, right? Or maybe we are that one friend? Maybe you have a friend who wears shorts all winter because they just like it? Point is, different people feel cold and heat differently and that's normal and OK. And you want to know what? I swear to God children do not feel cold. It's incredible. I'll be at the playground shivering my face off while they're running around in t-shirts — apple-cheeked, yes, but entirely unbothered — and it's like, "How?!" But it works out. They're fine, even if we're not, so why project?

I feel like a lot of us parents are acting like taking off a jacket is a permanent decision, like it's a tattoo or something. Your kid can always put their jacket back on if, in fact, they get cold! And you should know better than anyone that there is nothing more delicious on the tongue than the words "I told you so" directed at a once cocky child.

I don't think making your kid wear a jacket perpetuates rape culture or anything, but I think allowing them to make choices about their own body and what goes on it plays into the idea that they are in control of their own body and that's as it should be. I also think that if you give them control over low-stakes things — like whether or not they're going to put on a hoodie on a brisk day — they're less apt to go into "contrarian fighter mode" where they argue about every little thing, whether or not they're particularly invested in the outcome.

Admit it: part of this argument is about you not wanting to give up control. I'm not judging! I still wipe my 7-year-old son's face after dinner and even though he is perfectly capable of doing it himself. I get it! For the first several years of our children's lives we need to do everything for them, and that's a need. Like, baby's can't even burp on their own, that's how helpless they are. We must control every aspect of their lives or things go south very quickly. But sometimes, as time goes on, our need for that control outpaces the actual need for us to be in control.

Again, I'm not judging. I've been there. I'm still there pretty often and I'm learning. It's OK, but maybe this whole "to coat or not to coat" argument is a good place to learn to let go a little bit.

This is basic germ theory, folks. Cold in and of itself doesn't make you sick. Some germs spread more easily in the cold weather, but being cold isn't going to make you ill, generally speaking. (I'll give some leeway to my fellow asthmatics here!)

Maybe that sweater really is itchy! And maybe they will be a little bit chilly without it, but chilly is better than itchy. Let them make that call. Again, circling back to that first point: the stakes are low here!

I feel like this is often a thing on the playground in the spring and autumn, when the weather is sort of in-between and variable. Different parents have different rules about jackets. Some make their kids wear them, others don't, and that can be a whole, "Well Janey's mom isn't making her wear a jacket" thing which, like, you can deal with, certainly, but why? Let's just all agree that we'll let our kids decide whether or not they are going to be chilly (or whether or not they are) and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.

In my experience, giving kids the experience of figuring out for themselves when they are more comfortable in a jacket (or when they're perfectly happy to run around jacket free) helps avoid these arguments all together. They learn pretty quickly, "Oh, hey, if it's below 60 I'm going to want that hoodie just like mom suggested! And I know that because I've felt the alternative and it sucks." In other words, let them learn through a little bit of discomfort.

Like, you don't actually really care, but you see all the other moms insisting their kids keep their jackets on and you're like, "Oh crap! Well, I don't want to be the one negligent mom who isn't doing enough to keep her child healthy," which you know (and we've established) isn't something a slight chill can change anyway, but you still feel the pressure.

Screw it. Either the other moms feel the same way and it's a vicious cycle of being scared of being judged, or they can go ahead and judge all they want because you're doing nothing wrong.

And that, plus all the other reasons I list above? That's a great reason to at least consider doing something. I say lean on into it.