How To Prep Your Toddler Before Meeting Santa

All is calm, all is bright? More like all is chaos, all is fright when it comes to taking a picture of your kid with Santa Claus. If you’re taking your little one to meet the big guy in red for the first time this year, you’re probably wondering how to prepare your kids before they meet Santa (or if that’s even possible). Or, if you know your child’s the anxious type and has screamed at the sight of Santa before, maybe you just need some tips on how to make their encounter a little less dramatic. Either way, if taking your kid to see Santa an important tradition to you, there are ways to make it go a little smoother.

How to prepare your kids before they meet Santa

Talk about Santa way in advance.

For toddlers who are new to learning about Mr. Claus, talk (more than once) about what it’ll be like to meet him, and get them excited about who he is in general. “Make sure that you're exposing them to Santa by showing them pictures of Santa, or if you happen to have ornaments or items in you house that are Santa, pointing those out and just helping them learn who Santa is,” says Jessica Liles, child life specialist at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital. And showing them diverse Santa’s is also a great idea. “There’s also great books and children’s movies that can be used as reference based on what's appropriate for that child's age and development.”

Set yourself up for success (as in, everyone is napped and fed).

Schedule that Santa visit for the optimal time: after everyone has had a meal and well before or after nap time. “If you’re going at nap time or everyone’s hungry, you are looking at a meltdown,” Liles says. “Even just think about, are they comfortable? Sometimes the clothes that we wear for Santa pictures may not always be the most comfortable. And so as a parent just trying to determine, is that something you want to navigate or do you want your child to be comfortable for that time that they’re getting to see Santa?”

Kids feed off their parents’ energy, Liles adds, so the less frazzled you are leading up to their Santa visit, the more likely they are to stay calm too.

Show up early.

Whether you have an appointment to see Santa or plan to wait in line, arrive a little early so your kid has time to just take it all in.

“Before getting in the line or just jumping right to Santa, standing back with the child and let them see how it works, watching a couple other families to see how long they’re there, what it looks like and what Santa sounds like, and get a feel for the environment. That can help a lot with some of that anticipatory anxiety,” says Dr. Kelly Banneyer, Ph.D., a child psychologist at Texas Children’s Hospital.

Give your kid a play-by-play.

It might seem obvious to you, but young kids might just need a little context for what’s about to happen in order to chill. So, explain. “We wait in line when it’s our turn, we’ll walk up, you say this to Santa or Santa’s going to ask you this. Then we’re going to sit, and they’re going to tell you to smile. And when it’s all done, we wave bye to Santa and we walk away,” says Banneyer. “If kids are observing [other families], then that’s something that parents can narrate. Like, ‘Look, see? They’re saying hi, they’re walking up...’ and they can go through the steps with their child.”

If you think it’ll help, you could make the whole day leading up to meeting Santa a special thing, with getting to see him as the prize. “Write down the different steps in the process and every time they accomplish one of those steps, they get a sticker. It might be, ‘first, we’re going to put on our festive clothes. Then, we’re going to get in the car.’ And then at the very end, the last step in the process and the reward is that you’re meeting Santa,” says Liles.

Practice what they’ll say.

If your child is specifically nervous about what they’re going to say – Santa’s kind of a celebrity, you know – make it clear that there’s no pressure, and chat through some options.

“They can practice what they're going to say to Santa beforehand, or even practice a funny question to ask Santa. Or they can just decide, you know what, you don't need to say anything. Maybe Mom will talk or just your brother is going to talk. That’s OK, if the goal is just to get them up there.”

Lay out the options for physical contact.

If your kid’s cool with everything but the whole cozying-up-to-a-stranger thing, offer some alternatives to sitting on Santa’s lap.

“I know a lot of times it can be tradition to sit on Santa’s lap, but that is absolutely not a requirement. So, it could be a choice. Do you want to sit on Santa’s lap or do you want to sit next to Santa? Do you want to sit in Mommy’s lap next to Santa? There are lots of ways parents can offer some options to maybe make it a little bit easier,” says Banneyer.

Check for sensory-friendly visiting hours.

Whether your child has specific sensory needs or is just easily overwhelmed, aim to visit Santa during the slow hours (as in, not in the evenings or on weekends, which can be hard). Many Santa Claus experiences offer sensory-friendly hours when they don’t play music and try to limit the number of guests, for example, and attending those can really help, Liles and Banneyer say.

Should you make your kid sit on Santa’s lap?

If they’re OK with it, awesome. If they’re genuinely scared, don’t force it, experts say. Whether or not you should wrestle them onto the big guy’s lap and snap a crying photo depends entirely on your what you think your child can handle. But the question remains hotly contested.

“It depends on how uncomfortable they are,” says Banneyer. “Kids learn how to do things and handle things if they’ve had good experiences. So, if they were feeling a little uncomfortable but parents thought that they could handle it and then they did it and they go, ‘oh, that wasn't so bad,’ they’re learning how to be brave and that it’s not a big deal. But if the entire time a child was sobbing, they didn’t learn that it was OK; they’re just going to remember that it was awful and they cried the whole time.”

The better approach is seeing how your child feels once they’re in front of Santa and asking whether they’d like to sit on his lap, stand in front of him, or sit on your lap next to him, Banneyer says. Liles echoed that sentiment.

“From an emotional safety perspective, there is an element of autonomy that should be offered to each child, especially when their body and personal space is involved,” says Liles. “This is especially important as toddlers and young children grow and are learning independence with their body (like potty training and getting dressed independently). An alternative to sitting on Santa’s lap could be having the child stand or sit near Santa, or having a parent sit on Santa’s lap while holding the child.”

When will your kid stop being scared of Santa?

It could be this year, next year, or not until they’re much, much older. It just depends on your kid. “Typically from a developmental standpoint, the stranger anxiety and separation anxiety starts around 6 months of age and then continues until around 3 years of age,” says Liles. “However, that differs based on a child's temperament, their personality, and their experiences. You may see children who are over that 3 year age range that are still anxious about meeting Santa.”

And listen, if your kid is seriously freaked out by a stranger in a red fuzzy suit, who can blame them? You could always ask a trusted relative to dress up like Santa and snap some pics of them and your little one at home.

Experts:

Jessica Liles, CCLS, certified child life specialist and Director of Child Life at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital

Dr. Kelly Banneyer, Ph.D., a child psychologist at Texas Children’s Hospital