7 Ways To Ease Your Anxiety About Going Back To Work Post-Baby

It can be so hard to find your focus, whether you’re at home or at work. But worrying about your baby when you should be working on expense reports isn’t going to make you a productive employee. That’s why you need to be present, no matter where you are. “Make a commitment to yourself that when you are with your baby and not at work, you're going to make sure your baby feels your total presence and love,” advises Moore. “You can't control the hours you're away from your child due to work so focus on what you can control - the time that you are with them.” And conversely, if you’re at work, try to enjoy the time away from your little one, and challenge your mind in new and exciting ways, so that when you’re reunited with your little one after a long day, you’ll really appreciate it.

Even if you’ve been at your job for a while, you’re still going to experience a learning curve as a new working mom. You might find that you’ll need a friend who already knows the ropes to help get you through this challenging time, Christine Michel Carter, a workplace expert, tells Romper. “On your first day back at work, set up a lunch or coffee (in person or virtual) with another working mom – perhaps someone from your office who has been through maternity leave and returns before,” suggests Carter. “She will know exactly what you’re going through and be able to offer you some important perspectives on this time of transition.” And it always helps to have someone who’s been there, done that, and can get you through it all.

If possible, you should reach out to your boss before returning to work. This can help prepare you without feeling like you’re about to start the first day of school all over again and are completely unprepared for it. “Make sure to ask your boss questions about what you may have missed or what may have changed while you were gone,” Beth Finkelstein, founder of B&D Coaching, tells Romper. “Be sure to share any changes you anticipate on your end when you return — for example, if you've always kept your office door open in the past, but will need to shut it to pump, mention this to your boss.” The fewer surprises you can create, the better.

Although the workforce has undergone an evolution of sorts as it relates to remote work, there’s still so much more to be done to ensure that the workplace is favorable for all workers, no matter what age or stage of life they’re in. And that’s why it’s critical for you to raise your concerns with your boss before on-ramping back into the workforce. “As a new mom returning to the workforce, time is going to be one of your biggest concerns,” Moore says. “You might not be able to stay late or come in early and there will be times where you'll have to leave work to care for your baby.” Communicating these new needs will help put you both on the same page, reduce your stress in feeling like you have to do it all just as you did before, and quell any potential confusion that can arise if you do have to leave work to care for your baby.

If you haven’t discovered it by now, getting yourself out of the house when you have an itty bitty baby is incredibly difficult. So you’re going to need to find ways to make the segue smoother so that your mornings are not so manic. “Do whatever you can ahead of time to make your first few days back easier,” says Moore. “This could mean anything from freezing some dinners to planning a few outfits.” A few extra minutes of prep time the night before or a little earlier in the morning can make a huge difference.

And if you’re dreading that first week back, don’t start on a Monday, advises Carter. “Make your week shorter by starting back on a Wednesday or Thursday,” she says. “Having trouble getting out the door in the morning? Pour your own cereal into a bowl the night before. Not sure when you’ll pump? If you have control over your calendar, block pumping times for a year out while you’re still on leave.”

Never has having mom friends been so utterly important as when you’re transitioning back to the workforce. You’re going to need all the bits of advice, tips, and moral support in the days and weeks after you begin working again. “One of the best ways to cope with the tough transition of leaving your baby to go back to work is by getting support from friends, family members or even a therapist,” says Moore. “It's important not to bottle up all of your feelings and carry the burden of them alone.” This isn’t the time to try to be Wonder Woman, after all. Be sure to share your feelings with friends and colleagues you feel comfortable with, and find out their own strategies for survival. As Moore points out: “Sometimes just hearing that other people went through the same thing and survived can be all you need to ease the anxiety.”

When you go back to work, it can all feel like what you’re giving up… as opposed to what you’re gaining. You feel like you’ve lost time at work, and when you have to return, you’ll feel like you’re losing out on precious time with your baby. But it’s a simple mindshift that can help you see things in a more positive light. “The best way to celebrate the new season of returning to work after a baby without dreading it is to focus on what you're gaining, instead of on what you're losing,” advises Moore. “Yes, you'll have less time with your baby but you will have more time with someone who matters just as much, yourself.” And by focusing on the benefits that work brings (i.e. you’re earning an income while still pursuing your own purpose and adding onto your accomplishments), suddenly, it doesn’t feel all doom and gloom anymore.