7 Truths About Potty Training You Can't Ignore

The idea that kids know enough about their own body to discern when they're ready to potty train is often dismissed as a myth, since most preschools expect little ones to be using the potty no later than 3 years old. Additionally, plenty of books and articles tell you to start between 2 and 3 years old. “While I disagree with the notion that kids ‘know’ that they are ready,” says Dr. Jessica Madden, M.D., a board-certified pediatrician, neonatologist, and international board-certified lactation consultant, “they will start to show signs and give hints that they are ready to start potty training.”

Maybe they won’t have the explicit thought “OK, now I’m ready to potty train,” but their behaviors will let you know. “[These] include becoming very quiet and stopping what they are doing when they are making a bowel movement,” Madden says, “going into another room or hiding when they are making a bowel movement, or frequently taking off their own diaper and running around without one on.”

People will tell you that letting your little one roam the house au natural when potty training doesn't work because it doesn’t mimic "real life" circumstances. But don't let anyone convince you that this "myth" isn't helpful. Aside from my own personal experience potty training my kiddos in the buff, Madden says her understanding is that “being naked helps because it’s a lot easier for them to sit down on a toilet quickly without having to remove training pants or a ‘pull up.’”

There is a rumor floating around that using Pull-Ups (or similar potty training underwear) can actually make it harder to transition to potty training. “I have heard this many times, but I am not sure why,” Madden tells Romper. “Potty training is very individualized, and in some cases, pull-ups can actually help with the transition out of diapers, especially at nighttime,” she notes. And disposable potty-training underwear make cleaning up afterward super quick and painless.

Finishing what you start is a good approach to a goal, and when it comes to potty training, some will tell you that forging ahead is the only way to teach your kid to use a toilet. But as Madden tells Romper, if it’s not going well or becomes a battle, you can take a pause for a few weeks. “It’s also important to make sure that you do not start potty training around the time of any big life stressors for a toddler, such as the birth of a sibling, moving to a new home, or starting a new day care or preschool,” she adds.

I had always heard that day cares and schools want nothing to do with potty training, and expect you to have this on lockdown by the time you send your little one their way. I was surprised to learn that some preschools (including the one I sent my kids to) will help encourage potty training at school with children who are learning at home. “Although the majority of preschools expect for children to be fully toilet trained when enrolled,” Madden explains, “there is an increasing number that will accept partially trained children. I think that this is, in large part, due to the realization that many children are not developmentally ready to toilet train until they are 3 years old.” This way, they don't have to miss school while they're getting the hang of using the potty.

This is dismissed as a myth since some people don't see how what you dress your child in has anything to do with potty training. But anyone who has tried to wrangle a toddler out of some overalls while he's doing the pee-pee dance knows that is totally true. “I think that toddlers should dress in comfortable, easy-to-remove play clothes, whether they are potty training or not,” offers Madden. “While there’s not a specific outfit, per se, to wear when training ... they should be in clothing that they can easily remove by themselves.”

Some may dismiss this notion as a myth, arguing that toddlers should be potty trained by the time they’re 2 years old. But as with many things, it’s not one size fits all. “The reality is that there is a wide range of ‘normal’ ages to start potty training — from 18 months to 3 years of age,” Madden tells Romper. “In some cases, children are not fully potty trained until they are 4.”