22 Quotes About Infertility To Share With Someone Struggling

Picture-perfect pregnancies are celebrated everywhere. Beautiful bellies and gorgeously glowing skin are on full display for all to see and admire. When it comes to the true reality of someone’s journey towards parenthood, though, those issues (like unsuccessfully trying to conceive or a having a miscarriage) are often not spoken of. And it’s a shame, too, since talking about infertility helps reduce the stigma associated with it. So if you have a friend who has been struggling to have a baby, these infertility quotes just might offer some solace.

The more that infertility is a topic that isn’t discussed, the worse things become for the women (and their partners as well) try to come to terms with their battle to have a baby. “The reason it's so important to say something to a friend is because we have gone way too long with people not talking openly about infertility,” Ali Prato, co-founder of Fertility Rally, an online membership community, event platform, and content hub for anyone struggling to build their modern family, tells Romper. “It's a medical condition; it's nothing to be ashamed of.” In short, infertility is not your fault — it’s no one’s fault —and shouldn’t be treated as such. That’s why the more we openly talk about infertility, it offers support to those who might be silently struggling, and it helps people to gain perspective on stigmas that just aren’t true.

That’s why you should reach out to your friend who is struggling with infertility and let them know you’re there. Because what’s possibly worse than infertility is when no one acknowledges what you’re going through. “We as women need to lift each other up, not shame each other or make anyone going through infertility feel less than,” says Prato. “And the more we talk about this, the more future generations of women will know about fertility and infertility in general.”

As conversations surrounding infertility and TTC are becoming more commonplace, here’s how you can show a friend that you really care.

Infertility Quotes When You’re TTC

• “After a while, when you’re not successful, you start to associate the word ‘failure’ every time you pee on a stick and it doesn’t come out the right color. What starts out as a dream becomes a project that’s all-consuming — everywhere you look, women are pregnant, and every song on the radio seems like it’s all about being pregnant! It becomes a very frustrating, frightening place.” — Brooke Shields
• "At a certain point it had to almost become a job because it's way too emotional to live emotionally through that. So you just keep going and going and going, and if you really want something, you just make it happen. And you have all of these things where you go, 'Yeah, but I would never do that.’' Then, all the sudden, you're like, 'Hey, I'll do that. If it's for my family, I'll do anything.'" — Nancy Juvonen
• “I got some bad news today and didn't have anyone to share it with… but I guess I gotta tell someone. To all the women out there struggling with fertility, I feel ya. The universe works in mysterious ways and sometimes it all doesn't make sense... but I hope there's light about to shine through all the dark clouds." — Rebel Wilson
• “It’s so funny — when I was 23 years old, I used to tell myself, ‘In three years, I’m going to have kids.’ Then I turned 24. ‘In three years, I’m going to have kids.’ Every single year I kept saying that. And then after a while it’s like, ‘Okay, now I want to.’ And it’s not so easy…I’ve had some not happy moments with that, very traumatic moments. It’s difficult as you get older. It’s not something that can just happen.” — Tyra Banks

• "For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant. I've either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle." — Gabrielle Union
• “Infertility is this huge emotional roller coaster. If you want in your heart more than anything to have a baby, it’s the hardest thing you will ever go through physically, emotionally, and financially.” – Cindy Margolis
• “I found that each time a test was negative, I stopped the dreaming and hoping for a while. Taking the test was a way of puncturing the balloons of hope because if I didn’t, they would lift and lift without any evidence, and their falling back down every month was too painful. Essentially, I took all these tests to keep myself from hoping, because the hoping was breaking my heart.” — Shauna Niequist, author of Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes

Hopeful Infertility Quotes

• “For everyone going through infertility and conception hell, please know it was not a straight line to either of my pregnancies. Sending you extra love.” — Anne Hathaway
• “Sometimes it’s hard to see the rainbow when there’s been endless days of rain.” — Two-Week Wait: Motherhood Lost and Found by Christina Greer
• “There are days worth living still, worth the pain of this life and the pain of their deaths. I guess I'm just asking you a favor, in the end: Don't give up before the future comes around that was meant for you, okay?” ― Tara Wine-Queen, author of Tenderness and Troubling Times: A Collection of Stories
• “What if infertility isn’t a war but an awakening? What if it’s not about death but about a renaissance?” ― Rekha Ramcharan, author of Manifesting Motherness: Healing from Infertility

Secondary Infertility Quotes

• “I didn’t think I’d be able to have a second child, and it’s been over seven years since my first pregnancy... We did try for a long time. It was hard. But I didn’t give up.” — Tia Mowry-Hardrict
• “Just because someone is blessed to have one child doesn’t mean that secondary infertility is an easy pill to swallow.” — Nikki Parnell
• “Anyone that’s been in the place of wanting another child or wanting a child knows the disappointment, the pain, and the loss that you go through trying and struggling with fertility.” — Nicole Kidman

Infertility Quotes That Just Get It

• “Fertility is not something you conquer. Rather maddeningly, there's no straight line between effort and reward.” ― Michelle Obama, author of Becoming
• “Like most women, I thought it would be easy once I decided to start a family. I was surprised that Mother Nature kept poking me in the eye, saying, ‘Nope, nope, nope.” – Nia Vardalos
• “It’s not that motherhood is out of reach, it’s that it’s just out of reach. It’s not that motherhood didn’t happen, it’s that it almost did and, in fact, still could. The difference between the grief of infertility and other reasons for mourning – the loss of a spouse, for example – is in that promise of ‘just,’ in ‘almost,’ in ‘still could.” – The Seed: Infertility Is a Feminist Issue by Alexandra Kimball
• “You start doing your research and realizing that the fertility rate for women drops considerably. And you’re like, “Oh my God, now I want to get pregnant, and now it’s a crazy time where I might not be able to get pregnant because I’m getting older and my eggs are aging and my uterus isn’t as fertile as it used to be and my loins are not where they used to be.” – Staceyann Chin
• “It is one thing, I was discovering, to think, ‘Maybe I won’t have kids,’ and quite another to be told, ‘Maybe you can’t.’ This is how impatience turns to desperation.” — Peggy Orenstein, author of Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night, and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother
• “The world was selfish, unjust. How could so many undeserving people be given the opportunity to raise children they didn’t even want while so many worthy individuals didn’t get the chance?” ― Brittainy C. Cherry, author of Disgrace
• “Is there any point in breathing if this is what the world is asking me to face?’ You think to yourself. Somehow though, whether through madness or magic, you find a way to. You keep breathing even when you don’t think you can. You surprise yourself.” ― Jodi Sky Rogers, author of Mending Softly: Finding Hope & Healing After Ectopic Pregnancy Loss
• “Women often endure infertility, pregnancy, infant loss, miscarriages, and stillbirths in isolation, because while sadness is a socially palatable response to these often life-altering events, rage, frustration, jealousy, and guilt are not.” ― Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

It can be hard to find the words sometimes when someone you love is struggling with infertility. So speak from the heart, and know that by simply acknowledging what your loved one is going through, you’re opening the door not just for conversation and comfort, but ultimately helping to change how the world views the stigma surrounding infertility, too.