11 Things Every Breastfeeding Woman Needs To Hear From Her Friends

I can't tell you how important it is for every new mom (whether she's breastfeeding or not) to know they aren't the only ones to have a difficult time. However, for breastfeeding mothers especially, knowing your struggles aren't specific to you is just, well, vital. We have this idea of breastfeeding in our head, an idea that has been marketed to us, and when that idea doesn't become reality, it's difficult not to assume that we're the problem. To hear that we're not the problem, and that other women are experiencing similar problems, is everything.

Honestly, you can never hear this phrase enough when you're doing something as exhausting as breastfeeding. Words of support and encouragement from your friends can really make all the difference.

Many mothers who have to end up either supplementing with formula or switching to formula, feel guilty and like failures and even question their abilities as parents. I mean, we're our harshest critics. To hear that our choice (whether or not it's made out of necessity) is an acceptable choice to make, can be a game changer. Babies that end up having formula turn out just fine, but hearing that from moms who have used it on their own babies can help reduce the mom guilt.

For some reason, a lot of moms don't talk about their struggles with breastfeeding until they're asked directly. I don't know why this is (I certainly never had that problem), but if I had to guess, I'd say because mothers are constantly being judged for their abilities and/or their decisions and, well, who wants to put themselves in a position to be on the receiving end of that shame? However, the sooner new moms hear just how many women struggle with breastfeeding, the better off they will be.

You don't know how awful cluster feeding is on your nipples until you've been through it yourself. You just, well, don't.

Getting this tip from the source, from someone who has actually been through it, can help drive it home, because I know I was in denial about how much I could actually leak.

Oh, the mom guilt. I had a group of friends who all had their first baby within a month of each other (including me). One mom starting telling a story about something she had been watching on her phone while breastfeeding, and apologizing profusely for being such an awful mom because she had been using her phone. We all quickly chimed in and assured her that not only was she far from the only mother to do this, her being on her phone didn't mean she as a "bad mom."

In all honesty, I wish someone had given me a tip or a pointer or something that would have helped with breast pumping. It took me about three years of occasional pumping while staring at a blank wall, before I figured out that I could watch something on my iPad or laptop. It's OK, you can call me dense.

There's no question that every woman responds differently to galactagogues, but hearing first hand experiences beats reading stuff on the internet any day.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist Shaq in this gif. Again, who doesn't prefer first hand experience, as opposed to what a stranger recommends? I actually always include my favorite nipple cream when I give a baby shower gift.

If there's one thing I think all breastfeeding mothers need to hear, it's that breastfeeding is f*cking hard. Especially in the beginning. Knowing in advance, or at least in the very beginning, can help frame your experience and manage your expectations and keep you from crying in the bathroom every morning. Instead of feeling like a failure if things get hard, you can understand that you are one of many who have been through this.