Most kids are inherently louder than adults (or the majority of adults) can handle. They don't really master that whole "inside voice" thing until, well, I'm actually not sure when that happens. There is, however, a special breed of kid that takes the meaning of "loud" to a whole new level, and if you're the parent of one of those kids, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry because I'm one of them and I get it and I know the struggles. Oh man, the struggles. Arguably the biggest struggle is dealing with all the things things parents of loud kids are tired of hearing; things that people apparently feel comfortable saying to complete strangers; things that I truly believe cause shame and perpetuate judgment and make us parents feel like we need to constantly be apologizing for our kids.
I have two loud kids. They're the kind of "uninhibited loud" that makes non-parents turn around and give dirty looks, and other parents nod their heads and roll their eyes. They're not screamers and they don't really do public tantrums but boy oh boy, do they ever love to sing. At the top of their lungs. In public places. Around absolute strangers. While I know there's a time and a place for singing loudly (I am a former opera singer myself, after all), the idea of cramping their style, or putting a lid on their joy, just doesn't seem right.
Kids deserve to be kids and if that means they're louder than what other people are comfortable with (in the appropriate setting), I kind of feel like those other people just need to get over themselves. As the parent of loud kids, I need to pick and choose my battles and fighting to keep my kids quiet in the grocery store is lower on my list of priorities than keeping them quiet in a funeral home. So, if you're someone who's likely to come up and complain about my kids, how about, instead, you just continue to do your thing and trust me that I'll be able to sufficiently do mine? On that note, here are nine things parents of loud kids are tired of hearing:
"Does Your Kid Have An Inside Voice?"
Clearly, my kid does have an inside voice, because pretty much everyone does. Does she use it? Well, that's another story. In fact, she does use an inside voice most of the time, except when she gets excited/angry/generally worked up.
"We Can Hear Them Down The Block"
Yes, I know there are times when my daughter is excessively loud, and I do my best to make her aware of her voice, but honestly, as long as it's not an offensive time of day, I don't really care how loud she is.
"Your Child Was Disruptive In Class. Again."
It's hard having a kid who gets so flamboyantly excited that she wants the whole world to know. It can be especially hard when they get in trouble for it on the regular.
"Does Your Kid Have A Volume Button?"
This is such an obnoxious question. If my kid has a volume button, then I must have some sort of "screw you, stranger" button on me somewhere, right?
"Your Child's Voice Distracts The Other Classmates"
The struggle is real, people. I never know what to say to this except, "I'm sorry," and, "We'll try to encourage her to keep her voice down."
"How Do You Deal With It At Home?"
If I'm being honest, the answer I should give is, "Sometimes I need to use earplugs, or else I will scream," but how I generally react is more along the lines of a really giant roll of my eyes. After all, this question is less of an inquiry and more of an insult.
"MOOOMMMMM!"
I love my kid, but when she fills the entire house with that voice, just saying that one word, I sometimes want to lose my mind. If she had just walked one room over, she could've said my name quietly.
"Well, They Have Your Lungs!"
I may be alone in this, because I'm a singer, and everyone assumes my kids are getting their vocal cords from me. What they don't know is that my husband's voice is also insanely loud and resonant, when he chooses to use it that way or laughs, so it's not just me!
"I Bet You Can't Take Them Anywhere, Huh?"
First of all, thanks. Second of all, you're wrong, I take my kids all over the damn place. Maybe it's absolutely shocking to you, but everyone survives every single time.
